Thyrogen Scan Results

.... almost clean scan. I know. It's not what I was hoping to hear either! But it's most likely not cancer, just leftover thyroid tissue and I don't have to be retreated!

My mom came at 10 in the morning and we headed off for the adventure. First to the clinic for MORE bloodwork (at which I have to say, do they REALLY need that much blood?? REALLY?) and then on to the hospital for the scans. We were over an hour early so we stopped at the National Cathedral to light a candle. After our spirits were properly uplifted, we went down the street to Washington Hospital Center.

I'm always amazed whenever we park in the garage and walk across the street, through the clouds of cigarette smoke and people SITTING OUTSIDE THE CANCER CENTER SMOKING CIGARETTES. WTF.

I got called in right away and lay down on the machine. Dim room, radio on, Mom across the room reading magazines. The tech covered me with a warm blanket and put a pillow under my knees. Then the machine comes down really close, like a couple of inches, from my nose and sits there for about 10 minutes before it starts to slllloooowwly move down the rest of my body. Takes about 30 minutes total. I was groggy and sleepy when it was over. We had to walk down into the basement to nuclear medicine for two more scans - another big flat camera right over my face and neck that takes 20 minutes and then a pinhole focused right on my neck, another 20 minutes.

Then the waiting. Judge Judy is on the TV and the other women in the room were clucking and chatting about the appalling situations being aired on national television. I read Oprah's home magazine and ate my turkey burger and green pepper strips. Finally we were called back.

There's still a small spot, but most likely it is just residual thyroid tissue that might even continue to die off as time goes on. My bloodwork from Wednesday was negative for the marker that would indicate cancer, which is a very good sign. Another round of blood tests from Friday will confirm that, which I will not know until next week. So. Anticlimactic, but good overall. I can't say CLEAN scan, but it's the next best thing! Provided the results next week are NEGATIVE, I can say with confidence that I am CANCER FREE!!!

We had to drive through scary Northeast DC back to Arlington in the early DC rush hour. I was exhausted, but we had plans to go to Cheesecake Factory, so instead of home we headed to Clarendon to meet my aunt and have a wine before dinner time. I talked to several people on the phone about the results. My aunt, uncle and mom ordered a slice of Linda's fudge cake for dessert to celebrate my birthday, since I didn't get cake on my actual birthday. YUM. I ate the majority of it and don't feel guilty ONE SINGLE BIT. It was the perfect ending to the day!

Radioactive Iodine and TSH

Holy cow guys, my TSH is 165!!!! Normal range is only up to 5!! And my TSH before the Thyrogen was .04!!! That stuff really works. And I don't feel much of anything. I feel a little tired and I slept for about 10 hours last night, but other than that, I feel fine. Thank god for this drug.

I went in to Washington Hospital Center yesterday to get my radioactive iodine capsule. Down into the bowels of the hospital basement where the nuclear medicine department is. I saw another thyroid cancer patient with a neck scar like mine. Hers was quite pink and raised and lower on her neck, almost on top of her chest. My scar is almost totally invisible. You can hardly see it. I used Neosporin scar strips for about six months after my surgery and I think they really helped. Plus with my super healthy diet and taking fish oil caps, I think my skin probably heals better than others.

The nurse who gave me the Thyrogen injections told me THE WRONG INSTRUCTIONS about getting my blood work done. I was supposed to have a pregnancy test on MONDAY, but she told me I didn't have to get any blood work done! So I did the blood work yesterday, but I had to sign a waiver yesterday affirming that I was not pregnant before they would give the the RAI. I had a moment of hesitation because I haven't had regular cycles since stopping oral contraceptives last spring. I've only had one period since then. But I was 99.9% sure, so I signed the waiver and swallowed the little gray pill. (My blood work from yesterday confirmed that I am NOT pregnant.) They bring the RAI out from a vault in a little steel vial. I took a swig of water and down the hatch! I felt anxious and weird, but not because of the RAI.

So now if there are any cancer cells left in my body they have absorbed the RAI and will show up on my scan tomorrow. I really feel like I'm going to have a clean scan, but I'm still anxious about it. Going back to the hospital and going through all this again, I'm reliving going through it the first time. All the fear and anxiety comes back and I can vividly remember the experience.

That, and my salivary gland on the left side keeps getting worse, maybe even because of having to take more RAI. I'm pretty worried about it. I'm going to see the ENT on Monday, I just hope I don't have to have another surgery or anything like that.

Today is my last day on the low iodine diet, YAY! Tomorrow I get to have yogurt and fish and whey protein and my multivitamins and sea salt and chocolate and I don't have to eat egg whites and chicken ANY MORE!!!

I'm just hanging around being radioactive today, it's kind of nice to have a day off. Except I can't go to the gym... can't be sweating radioactive goo all over the equipment. Everyone think good thoughts and CLEAN SCAN tomorrow!!

Thyrogen Injection - Part 2

So. I got the shots out of the way. The second one hurt a bit more than the first, but the aftereffects don't seem to be as achey. My right hip/leg is still kinda aching. I tried to do some cardio this morning but it just wasn't happening. Running felt like a stabbing pain where the shot was - yeowch! I feel tired today, but other than that I am fine. Today is my last day at work this week. My boss told me not to come in and poison him with my radiation - LOL - so I'm going to stay home and try to contain myself. (Snicker. Hehe - get it?! containment... :0)

Ok, going off to try and focus on my inbox....

Thyrogen Injection - Part 1 (and more Salivary Gland Pain)

I got my first thyrogen injection this morning. I got my blood pressure taken and then the nurse said, ok, turn around and lower your pants! That's the first time I can remember getting a shot in the rear. Today she did the right cheek and tomorrow will be the left (what?!). Good times. It didn't hurt too bad, although my heart was racing. The nurse told me, "You're about to feel a pinch, don't jump," but of course I did when she jabbed me. It stung a little and feels a little achey in my glute now. Not pain, not soreness... like a headache. In my ass. (What?!) She said I could still exercise, so I'm planning to do my cardio tomorrow as usual. Actually I have some cardio to do today too, if I still feel normal after work. I didn't get to it this morning after my workout because I was running late. I feel pretty normal now, no side effects to speak of yet. This is much better than stopping my medicine! Tomorrow I get another shot and then get my blood drawn; Wednesday I get the RAI and get my blood drawn; Friday I get my blood drawn and then have my scan.

Meanwhile, my left parotid gland is getting worse and worse. It's sore all the time now, even though it's not swelling as much when I eat. The inside of my cheek is all torn up, I assume from the swelling and my back molars, and it's super painful. I'm biting the bullet and making an appointment with an ENT. :(

Thyrogen Scan

I ended up having a busy week at work, which cuts into my lunchtime and breaktime and therefore blogging time... say it ain't so!

But I did schedule my THYROGEN SCAN!!!

Yep, that's right people, the good doctor is going to let me get thyrogen injections to raise my TSH instead of withdrawing from my thyroid hormone. PRAISE JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH AND ALL THE SAINTS IN HEAVEN. I've never been so happy in my life to get a shot.

See, with thyroid cancer, they remove the thyroid and the offending tumor. Your levels of thyroid hormone begin to fall, which slows your metabolism and pretty much everything else in your body down. Since your body can't live without thyroid hormone, all systems are on minimum function, RED ALERT!!! Your pituitary gland starts pumping out thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) like crazy trying in vain to stimulate your missing thyroid to do it's job... but since there is no thyroid, the TSH just keeps rising and conditions in your body keep getting worse. That's prime time to do a radioiodine scan of your body to see where any remaining cancer cells might be (like in the lymph nodes, lungs or bone) because any remaining thyroid cells are trying frantically to make thyroid hormone. When your TSH is high, any remaining thyroid cells are getting tons of stimulation and are hungry for iodine to start do their job. The thyroid is the main storehouse of iodine in the body; it uses iodine to carry out its functions. You follow a low-iodine diet and then ingest radioactive iodine, or RAI, and all those thyroid cells - cancerous or otherwise - soak up that poison like a thirsty camel in the desert. And, of course, they die!

And that, boys and girls, is how we cure cancer.

It takes about a year for the cells to all die and get mopped up by your immune system. It's been a year for me now, so it's time for my follow up scan, where I will allow my TSH to rise, follow a low-iodine diet and then take a very small dose (a tracer dose) of RAI. Then I'll get a scan to see if there are any metastases or leftover bits that didn't get nuked the first time around.

If it's clean, I go to "monitoring" status - official remission - for the rest of my life. If there are mets, I get another whopping dose of RAI.

Now, for cases like mine (caught early, no detectable mets at treatment), some endocrinologists let patients take injections of this drug called thyrogen, which, by some magical properties having to do with bovine TSH or something equally dreadful sounding, raises my TSH temporarily without me having to withdraw from my hormones in a horrible process that takes six weeks to complete and equally as long to recover from. It's not 100% sure to allow stimulation of all offending cells. Withdrawal is more certain. But my endo decided my case is unthreatening enough to warrant the thyrogen.

So that will be on the 14th of March, a Friday. I get a shot on Monday, another on Tuesday and take the RAI dose on Wednesday. Then I'm radioactive and have to follow the safety procedures until after my scan on Friday.

I can't wait to get the good news!

What's News?

I got a great compliment this morning! I was in the squat rack, finishing up a set with 140#, and the trainer working his client in the rack next to me said, "That is some GOOD squatting! You squat better than 90% of the guys in here!" I was pretty flattered.

+++++++++

I skipped my planned cardio yesterday, mainly because my bed just felt so good and warm and it was freezing rain outside. I also skipped my HIIT this morning because I ran out of time. When my alarm went off at 5 I realized I did not wake up in the night to pee and so had not taken my thyroid pill. I count on waking up (naturally) during the night to go to the bathroom so I can take my thyroid pill, which has to be on an empty stomach at least an hour before eating. So far, this has happened three times now since I've been back in DC - where I've slept soundly through the entire night and not taken my pill. It didn't happen once the whole time I was in Hawaii.

When it happens, I have to take it in the morning and delay the gym, since I don't work out on an empty stomach. I guess I could have gotten up anyway and gotten other things ready while I was waiting on the hour to pass, but it's much easier to reset the alarm for 6 and snooze a bit longer. I'll make up the HIIT on my next leg day, and yesterday's cardio on Friday. No biggie.

+++++++++++

The dentist was fine yesterday, except... how do I always manage to forget about how insanely AWFUL that water-pick thingie is???? It's AWFUL!! I was getting water sprayed all. over. my. face. Seriously I had water running down the side of my neck?! WTF is that??

He referred me to an oral surgeon to have one of my wisdom teeth pulled that is growing in a little bit on the top. Ugh. Do I really have to do this? Sometimes I think they are just scamming us all on the wisdom tooth thing to drum up more business! The thing is not causing any problems, but he says it probably will eventually and it will be harder to take care of as I get older.

He also suggested I talk to the oral surgeon about my salivary gland problem. He had the gaul to suggest that the pain was caused by me grinding my teeth at night and making the muscles in my jaw sore. This was after I had described how the parotid glands swell up like ping pong balls under my ears whenever I eat.

I didn't punch him in the face.

I calmly told him, no, I don't think that's the problem.

The hygenist told me sometimes people can get stones in blocked salivary glands and the surgeon would have more experience with it than they. She placated me with a goody-bag full of Biotene products and a prescription for at-home fluoride treatments.

+++++++++++++

Today I am going to the optometrist. Tomorrow I have to have blood drawn for my usual thyroid testing and next Tuesday I go back to the cancer doctor to find out what manner of torture I will have to endure for my follow up scans. If I get a clean scan I will officially be in remission!!

Post RAI Salivary Gland Pain

I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and I’m actually looking forward to it. I’m going to ask about my salivary gland pain, which I started having suddenly right around the time I got to Hawaii. This is a somewhat common problem in people who have been treated with radioactive iodine (RAI) because the RAI concentrates in the thyroid tissue and in the salivary glands. I have scarring in my salivary glands and my tear ducts, both of which were basically fried by radioactive saliva/tears during my treatment. Now whenever I eat or salivate, the saliva can’t get out of my glands and they get really swollen and painful. It’s mostly in the parotid glands, which are right under the ear on the sides of the jaw.
I never even knew we had salivary glands there until my RAI. They tell you to suck on sour candy while in treatment, so that radioactive saliva doesn’t just sit there festering in your glands, it moves and filters (that’s the idea anyway). Eating sour candy at 12, 2 and 4 in the morning was a bitch let me tell you.

I didn’t have pain while I was in the hospital, but shortly after getting home for my isolation, I lost my sense of taste and developed a very dry mouth and a little soreness. That went on for about 3 weeks, I guess and then cleared up. Almost a whole year went by without incident – my mouth was a little drier than before, but no pain or anything. Then I took a decongestant one day when I was having really bad allergies. Decongestants dry up all the fluids in your head, including in your salivary glands. Well, that triggered something because they started bothering me for about a week after that.

It cleared up and then a few weeks later, bam! All of a sudden my salivary glands started getting really swollen and painful every time I eat. It’s not as bad now as it was at first, but it’s STILL going on now about 10 weeks later. When I eat, they swell up like I have the mumps – like hard ping pong balls on either side of my face by my ears. The only thing you can do is just massage them and eventually they go down. It’s kinda gross because sometimes I get a squirt of the nasty backed up saliva, which tastes really salty/sour. Anyway, I’m going to ask the dentist about it and if there is anything I can do besides using my dry mouth stuff (Biotene) and massage. I know from my yahoo thyroid cancer group that some people do a course of steroids or get surgery to reopen the ducts… not sounding like fun. I just hope this is not something I have to live with forever, constantly! Dear lord, I hope I don't have to be retreated.....

Update: As of December 2011, I am officially cancer free!  And my parotid glands no longer bother me at all.  My friend who had thyca after me did NOT suck sour candies during her RAI and she did NOT have any issues with her salivary glands.  If I had to do it over, I would do the same.  But if you're reading this because your salivary glands are bothering you post RAI, take heart.  The problem is temporary and will eventually go away.  The things that helped me the most were Mucinex (not the one with sudafed in it) and massaging the glands when they bothered me.  And the dentists have no clue about this problem!  I've seen several and they all gave me blank stares when I asked about it.

Pictures & the return of the funk

Since I've done absolutely piss-all since yesterday at about 6:30 pm besides sleep and click the mouse button or the remote control (oh yes, and eat copious amounts of carbohydrate, must not forget to mention THAT), and therefore have nothing to talk about except self-pity, if we're getting technical, I thought I'd go ahead and post some pictures I've been meaning to share for a while now. Save the insights for a sunnier day. We're fresh out of insights over here.

This is Adam and me at the Smithsonian orchid exhibit. Don't I look orange? And my head looks abnormally small from that angle next to Adam's. Weird. We went to this exhibit last year and thought it was better then, but still enjoyed the live orchid varieties. Adam gave me a purple orchid for Vday which is at my office and which I must attempt to keep alive! (suggestions appreciated!)


More orchids. You can see some of the purple sort on the left there. It's amazing that they all look so different but are all orchids... (ahem, that was my deep insight for the day.)


And here's my new couch which I bought while I was so completely hypo that I couldn't remember what color I ordered (heh) and had delivered five days after the RAI. The couch I was radioactive on is at Cara and Matt's !! Don't worry, I covered it with a big blanket so it's not contaminated!


Speaking of RAI... these were taken with a cell phone so they are not that good, but this is me in the hospital, taken just before my RAI dose. Here I'm showing off my pink pajama pants with sledding dogs that were sacrificed to keep me warm while hypo and radioactive in the hospital. Sadly, they had to be abandoned along with all the other things I used. Behind me, you can barely make out the latex glove taped to the door handle... they taped latex gloves over all the handles and light switches. Also, you can't really see it, but the floor is covered with plastic -backed padding. As were all the other surfaces I would be using. Oh, and there's my cooler under the tv. Do NOT get RAI treatment without bringing your own provisions, as the staff avoids your room like the plague and the food isn't LID compatible anyway and you'll end up having to flush it down the loo (since they won't take any waste out of your room the entire time you are there).

Here's another one. This time I'm modeling the lovely sweatshirt donated by Adam which I was SO thankful for, as it was cold in the hospital. It met the same fate as the pink pants (wonder where they are now? Still imprisoned in the basement of Washington Hospital Center??) I wore it over my head, stuffed around my ears, that night as I tried to get some sleep with all the noises in the hallway. This YELLOW sweatshirt may very well be radioactive in its own right!! I changed hospital gowns each of the 4 times I showered, and underwear (I'd brought several old pairs), but wore the pants/sweatshirt the whole time. Clearly the chair is covered. To protect it from me.

And the moment you've all been waiting for... my hair. I think I look a bit strange and possessed in this picture!! Anyway, there you have it. It's not usually curly, I just happened to take the curling iron to it yesterday cause I didn't work out and had extra time.

I have two other depressing things to write about at the moment. The other night, when I woke up to take my thyroid hormone, for some reason it dawned on me that I will die if I do not take this pill. I cannot live on my own devices anymore. Not like I ever would just head out into the wilderness with nothing but my wits to keep me alive, but I could have before and now I can't. It's part of this helpless, dependent feeling that comes and goes lately. And also the feeling like the ceiling has flown away and I'm being sucked out into the endless blackness - completely untethered.

The other thing is my scar. It hurts a lot today. In fact, it seems like it hurts more when I don't eat well and exercise (isn't that strange?). I wonder why. It hurts in the morning often anyway, but more so when I'm being lazy and eating junk. Also, Adam gave me this gorgeous sting of pearls on Valentines day, which was so sweet and thoughtful because he was thinking maybe it would cover up the scar... but they hang just below the scar and kind of draw attention to it. :( Not that I'm to the point where I can wear necklaces yet... the scar is still too sensitive and gets irritated with just my T-shirt rubbing it, much less metal. On a positive note, the more I thought about it, the more I decided that I just don't care if neck jewelry draws attention to my scar! It's part of me now and damned if I'm going to let a scar get me down!

I'm struggling with motivation a lot the last couple weeks. With the tightening of the pants and the tiredness, and the whole cancer thing, I guess I just am in a funk. I'm thinking a lot about whether I want to go on training for this 10 mile race. It may be adding an element of stress that I don't need right now. I still have five weeks or so till the race, so I guess I don't have to decide now. Sigh. There, I said I was not going to write about the ick, but I did anyway!!

Do or do not; there is no try.

Exciting things are happening!! I made an appearance in the weight room yesterday! The Force was not with me. I think my muscles have run off with my taste buds and my saliva. They're all partying it up on the beach in Bermuda, drinking Mai Tai's, eating corn chips and looking sexy in a two piece.

So yesterday was leg day!! Wow. The loss of muscle mass in my legs is shocking, really. The whole time I kept thinking, don't overdo it... Still, I could not resist the magnetic pull of the squat rack. Squats are one of my favorite exercises. (I know, I'm insane.) I did some warm-ups sets and then repped 100# six times (all the while thinking, this is probably overdoing it...). I definitely felt like I had more in the tank, but I figured it's better to leave it there than blow it all the first day. You rarely know if you've overdone it until the next day when you can't sit down on the toilet without holding on to something! I'm not too sore today, so I think I found the balance.

I've started thinking about the Cherry Blossom 10 miler I'm running on April 1. That gives me 10 weeks from now to train for it. Should be about right. I'm planning to vaguely follow Hal Higdon's novice training program for the 15K (the weekly mileage goals anyway), although I probably won't do 5 days of cardio - I'll do 3 or 4 depending on how I'm feeling.

Novice runners: Training for Your First 15-K

Monday Tuesday Wed Thursday Friday Sat Sunday

Week	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat	Sun
1	Stretch & Strengthen	2 m run	30 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	2 m run	30 min cross
2	Stretch & Strengthen	3 m run	30 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	3 m run	30 min cross
3	Stretch & Strengthen	3 m run	35 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	4 m run	30 min cross
4	Stretch & Strengthen	2 m run	35 min cross	2 m run + strength	Rest	2 m run	40 min cross
5	Stretch & Strengthen	4 m run	40 min cross	3 m run + strength	Rest	5 m run	40 min cross
6	Stretch & Strengthen	4 m run	40 min cross	3 m run + strength	Rest	6 m run	50 min cross
7	Stretch & Strengthen	3 m run	45 min cross	3 m run + strength	Rest	4 m run	50 min cross
8	Stretch & Strengthen	5 m run	45 min cross	3 m run + strength	Rest	7 m run	60 min cross
9	Stretch & Strengthen	5 m run	45 min cross	3 m run + strength	Rest	8 m run	60 min cross
10	Stretch & Strengthen	3 m run	30 min cross	2 m run + strength	2 m run or rest	Rest	The 15-K

I'll also do 3 days of weight training, two with no cardio. I'll alternate between two splits, either: legs, back/chest/tris, shoulders/bi's/abs/cardio; or legs, back/bi's/abs, chest/tri's/shoulders (cardio on one of the days, depending how my legs are feeling). Obviously I won't be regaining any leg strength until after the race - well, maybe a little, but my legs tend to get overtrained really fast when I log a lot of weekly mileage (cause I'm stubborn and don't allow myself enough rest!), so my leg days will be moderate weights, higher reps - lots of supersets (no rest between exercises).

And I'll probably peak at 10 miles in week 8, I won't wait till race day before actually completing that distance. I'm also skipping week 1... All this depends on how I'm feeling, of course!! :)

So the plan for this week is:

Sun - shoulders/bi's/abs, 2 mi run
Mon - 3 mi run
Tues - legs
Wed - chest/back/tri's
Thurs - 30 min xtrain
Fri - rest/stretch
Sat - 3 mile run

I've thought about a time goal, and while I'd love to try for 1:30, I think 1:40 is probably more realistic given my circumstances. In reality, my goal should be just to complete the race! But that's a given. If I have to walk half of it, I'm going to complete it, there's not a doubt in my mind.

The taste/saliva thing is getting better gradually. My neck hurts where the radioactive iodine was taken up by the remaining thyroid tissue, and my scar hurts too, especially in the morning. Other than that, I keep feeling better every day (for now!).

I have to report that the first couple times out in public after the RAI were strange! I felt really disconnected and out of it. That experience was completely outside the spectrum of "Things That Happen To People" - it was NOT a normal human experience at all! I think my coping mechanisms were a wee bit overwhelmed! But it's like overdoing it in the weight room - you rarely know your coping skills are overwhelmed until after the fact! It's not until you get some distance and start to process what happened that you think, huh, I was totally not dealing at that moment!

I moved around a LOT growing up. My dad was a fighter pilot in the Air Force until last year, and we moved every year or two. I went to three different high schools. Sometimes people ask me, "how do you cope with that?" The answer is, you don't. At least not while it's happening. You just go through it, and it sucks and you grieve and you cry and then time goes by and you meet new people and you learn a new place and your life expands to make room for the new experiences and that's it. When bad stuff is happening, we don't cope - we just breathe and get through it. My mom always used to say to me, "This too shall pass." And inevitably, sometimes unbelievably, it always does.

If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it, blame yourself. Tell yourself you are not enough a poet to call forth is riches. For the creative spirit, there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place.
-Rainer Maria Rilke

The Final Battle (In which our heroine receives her Superpowers and faces off with her arch-nemesis, the Mighty Cancer, one on one.)

Phew! Where have I been? Let's see... my primary activities over the last few days, in rough order, have been 1) sleeping, 2) watching tv and movies, 3) talking on the phone. Gasp! I've regressed to adolescence!!! Heh. Seriously, though, fighting battles to the death can really tire a girl out, you know.

Under normal circumstances, eating would have gotten its own 1/3, but alas, I cannot taste food (much or the same). It's awful, I know. Go ahead and take a moment to weep uncontrollably on my behalf - I'll wait. That's better, right? Not that it matters too terribly much, though, because my tummy has been upset anyway. It's "almost certainly" temporary - a side effect of the radioactive iodine. Better be! The RAI concentrates in the salivary glands and they get pretty fried, as does the digestive tract, I'd imagine. Although they told me, you won't have any problems! It's great! Like it's some little magic pill. Except that IT'S POISON! ahem. Minor detail.

Truly, in hospital, I felt pretty much nothing. I was bloated beyond belief and my face puffed up, and I was tired, but otherwise... nothing. I did feel a strange sense of having been poisoned though. Not sick, just a sense that my insides were, in fact, cooking. The whole experience was so surreal and strange. But I'm getting ahead of myself.....

I'll start with the scan.

Adam and I showed up at the hospital at 10:00 for the appointment and they took me right back. I brought my iPod shuffle, so I got situated on the machine and they told me I couldn't move for 35 minutes. This large flat panel camera came down about 1/2 inch from my nose and stayed there for 15 minutes or so, then inched sllloooowwwlllyy down the rest of my body. No big deal. When I got up I could see the picture on the computer, with a really bright spot in my throat. That made me a little nervous. Then off to a different machine that took a close up of my head, neck and chest - 20 minutes. My neck was starting to hurt from laying with a pillow under my shoulders, but otherwise the whole thing was nothing. This time, the computer showed three big blotches in my neck. I started to get more anxious about the results at that point. I had two more scans to go. They did a 20 minute pinhole view of my throat, and a 20 minute picture on the first machine with two of the flat-screen cameras literally squashing my arms/shoulders together to get the sides of my neck/head. That was it. At that point it was nearly 2:00 in the afternoon! Poor Adam...

The Results.

The doctor called us back to their little computer command center and put me on the phone with my endocrinologist. He broke the news to me that they wanted to go ahead and admit me for 100 mci dose of RAI. That's a small dose in thyroid cancer terms, but 3x as much as they were originally thinking. I was upset, but I tried to just let it roll off my back. I kind of began to suspect that when I saw the three blotches on the one picture.

Hey, the fun never stops in Cancerland! Always a new surprise waiting around the bend! And honestly, from the moment of my diagnosis up until I saw my endocrinologist two weeks post-surgery and found out he wanted to do an outpatient dose, I was planning for hospitalization anyway, so I guess it didn't come as too much of a shock. I wouldn't have felt like a full-fledged member of the Thyroid Cancer gang if I'd missed out on the isolation in hospital experience! (Behold my positive attitude! See how I talk myself into things!)

There were five areas of uptake in my neck and one, oddly, in my face. The doctor said that the chances of it being an actual metastasis in my bone was very, very unlikely. (Great.) He thought it was probably just - ahem - snot that took up the tracer dose. Back in my neck, there was one big, bright area and four little ones. Probably all left over NORMAL thyroid cells. BUT... with only a small dose of RAI, that big bright spot would probably absorb all of it and leave nothing for the four other spots or the one in my face, and they had to be sure and nuke those in case there was any cancer cells floating around in there. Even one little cancerous cell will eventually turn into a tumor. Fry 'em all, I say!

Ok, so let's get this party started. (What follows is really long!)

Getting ready for hospitalization.

Unlike some people, I had not been planning to go into the hospital, so we had to scramble around getting things together after we left the appointment. We had instructions for what to expect and I wanted to get things to bring in with me. It was all stuff I knew about already mostly, since I'd been preparing for it from the diagnosis. Adam and I were supposed to check in at 10:00 and after all the processing, etc., they would probably dose me at about 1:30. Adam could stay with me until that point, then I would need to be isolated - no visitors, no leaving the room.

Once I got to the room, I would need to change and put away everything I wanted to bring with me when I left. Anything I wore/used while in hospital had to be abandoned there because it would be contaminated. I asked about my glasses and they said those would be ok, we could just wipe them off before leaving. I also asked if I could have my cell phone in a ziploc, expecting him to say no, but he said that was ok too. I was to stay on the LID. I would need to drink plenty of fluids, and suck on candy every 30 minutes or so to make me salivate (since the RAI concentrates in the salivary glands, you want to keep it moving and not let the radioactivity just build up there). I was also supposed to take FOUR showers through the day/night!! I asked if I could bring old clothes to wear and a styrofoam cooler of food/drinks. That was fine too.

Here's what I brought with me:

1) Styrofoam cooler. I froze 6 bottles of water to keep the food cold, and packed chicken, lots of fruit (apples, apricots, blueberries, prunes), hard boiled eggs, a salad in a disposable tupperware, a bag of walnuts, and a bunch of cut up veggies (zucchini, yellow squash, baby carrots, tomatoes).

2) Water. I didn't want to worry about having to wait for someone to bring me water if I got thirsty. I brought 6 additional .5 ltr bottles of water in with me. They had stocked the room with about 8 large cups of ice water already too.

3) Old sweats. I found an old pair of warm pj pants, which were essential because they told me they didn't have any pants for me once I got there. I wore the hospital gowns over them, which was good because they gave me a big stack of them and I could change it every time I showered. I wore two at a time - one tying in back, one in front. I was really cold while hypo, and the temp had dropped too, so I was really glad I had pants! Adam donated an old sweatshirt from college that looked like it was already radioactive - it was BRIGHT Big Bird yellow! I also brought several old pairs of socks and underwear.

4) Sugar free candy. Jolly ranchers. The candy made me sick, probably partly because I'm sensitive to fake sugar, but also because I had to eat two an hour (yuuuuck). I also brought a ziploc baggie of baking soda for warm water rinses for the salivaries, but I didn't end up using it because my salivary glands didn't bother me at all in the hospital. Not till I got home. They got sore and swollen on Friday, and yesterday my mouth dried up and I lost my sense of taste. Today they are feeling much better, although the dry mouth/taste issue is persisting.

5) Travel size toiletries. Cheap toothbrush, toothpaste, Dove super moisturizing body wash, and super hydrating conditioner & shampoo. Also two travel size bottles of lotion. I knew my skin/hair was going to be done after 4 showers. I also had to wash my hands three times every time I used the toilet.

6) Magazines. I can't focus my attention longer than a commercial right now, so books are out of the question. Magazines are perfect and I brought in a pile.

7) Tylenol and Tylenol PM, even though they said they'd give me Tylenol if I needed it. Again, didn't want to wait on a nurse if I needed it!

Getting settled in at the hospital.

We got to the room and I changed and unpacked and we waited. Everything was covered in plastic or plastic backed padding - the floor, the bed, the pillows, the door handles, the light switches - everything. There was a huge stack of towels, washclothes, gowns, some toiletries, and the water waiting for me. I put my cell phone in the ziploc bag. The nurse came to check me in, then the nuclear safety tech came to explain everything to me and go over the precautions for after I left.

While I was in the hospital, the radiation was at its highest, so I had to flush three times, wash my hands three times, and take four showers. Once I left the hospital, I had to stay more than 3 feet away from people if we were going to spend more than an hour at a time together, for a few days. No sharing spit or any other bodily fluids for a week after - especially the saliva has particularly high levels of radiation. Avoid children and pregnant women. (No problem). Flush/wash twice for a few days. All body fluids - tissues, etc, in the loo NOT in the bin!

Getting my Superpowers!

The nuclear medicine doctor and his two techs, plus two nuclear safety techs came back about 1:30 and explained everything again. I signed on the line and everyone left while I gave Adam one last hug & kiss goodbye :( . The two nuclear med techs wheeled in this metal lock box. One of them pulled out a lead pill container and from that a glass vial, with tongs. He dumped the pill in a little paper cup and they literally bolted from the room before I had a chance to even swallow it!

A couple minutes later, the nuclear safety techs came back and walked in the room and right up to me. I asked if they weren't scared cause the other guys ran away! They said, "We know the real deal." Although they were getting some radiation exposure right next to me, as long as it was only for a minute or two, or if they were more than 3 feet away, the level wasn't dangerous. They measured me with a Geiger counter - 102.9 mci. I had to be at 14 to leave the hospital. They would come back at 8:30 the next morning to measure again and hopefully I could go home then.

Isolation

I had to wait 2 hours to eat or drink anything. I hadn't eaten since breakfast so I was pretty hungry and the waiting was hard! At 4, the nurse called and said I could eat and did I want my tray? I said I just wanted some utensils and some hot water for tea. She met me at the door to hand off what turned out to be a cup of spoons and a tiny dixie cup of hot water. Um... ok.

I refueled, popped a candy, and took my first shower. Read, watched tv, drank water. Ate candy. She called back at 5:30 wanting to know if I wanted my dinner tray. I wasn't even hungry anyway, but I planned on eating my own food so I said no.

The night nurse came back at 8:00 to try to give me the dinner tray I didn't really want, but she said "just try it" and there were some fresh strawberries so I took it. Let me tell you, it was a darn good thing I brought my own food because the only thing they brought me that I could have eaten on the LID (including at breakfast) was fruit. The other items were cottage cheese, milk and a little bowl of soup I have no idea how they prepared. The bad part is no food can leave the room after I take it, so I spent some time flushing cottage cheese and soup down the toilet. Then I ate the food I brought with me for dinner, more candy, and took my second shower.

By that point, I was starting to swell up and my face looked puffy. I didn't want to shower again! I got into bed and put a pillow over my head at 10:30 or so, and managed somehow to fall asleep for a couple hours. I had to pee at 12:30, which is a pain because of the whole flush/wash thing. I managed to fall asleep again somehow, but the nurse was back at 2:30 to wake me up to drink water, shower and eat more candy (barf!). Eating candy and showering in the middle of the night SUCKS.

The next morning...

I slept again till about 5:30, when I normally get up, and then just lay there wondering if I should wake up or what. Finally I decided surely they would bring me a coffee from the nurse's station, so I got up. They laughed in my face (well over the phone) - no coffee, breakfast not till 7:30. I got irritated because I found it very hard to believe there wasn't coffee cooking somewhere nearby for people who stay up ALL NIGHT.

At 6:30 I decided to eat my breakfast and as soon as I finished, the nurse came in the room. She just walked right in and grabbed my arm and started taking my blood pressure! I was shocked! I said, "you know I'm radioactive, right?" She just laughed and said, "Yeah, have you seen the outside of your door?! Your levels have dropped off a lot by now." I asked her for tea and she said she'd bring some. She didn't bring it till almost 8:00. I asked for breakfast/coffee at 7:30 and they didn't bring that to me till almost 9:00.

The whole coffee thing really had me fuming - I couldn't believe I didn't get fed and couldn't get a coffee until 9:00!!! In fact, it was the nuclear safety guy who finally brought me my tray after he measured my radioactivity!! If I hadn't had my own food and was just sitting there starving, I think I would have lost it - I was already over-emotional from hyponess and the whole isolation experience!

Free to go!

The nuclear safety tech had called at 7:30 and said to get a shower and they would be there in an hour. I showered AGAIN and ate some more candy (did I mention how barfy this was???) They were right on time - 8:30. Measured me with the Geiger counter - I was at 6.4. From 100 the day before. So it falls really fast out of your system. He told me I could leave and went over all the precautions with me again.

Adam called at 9:00 and I said, "please come get me NOW and bring me some DAMN COFFEE! Please." He was there by 9:30, coffee in hand - bless his heart - and went off to argue with the nurse. Of course there was some mix-up with my discharge paperwork (of course). My endocrinologist called and told me instructions AGAIN and said I could leave! Thank GOD!

I changed back into the clothes I arrived in, gathered my cell phone and we left. It was strange walking out of the hospital - all those unknowing people! I tried to stay as far away from anyone I passed as possible. I sat in the back seat on the opposite side of Adam and he drove me home. I've never been so happy to come home in my LIFE. I had prepared my apt - set aside the pillows and blankets from the couch that couldn't be washed in the machine, pulled up the bath mats and made a little sitting area on the opposite corner of the living room for Adam. He stayed with me about an hour and then went off to get himself ready to work the weekend day shift.

Home but not home free.

I started feeling poorly at that point. I was really tired, and my salivary glands started to hurt. I just took a nap, then lay on the couch until bedtime. Yesterday I felt pretty much the same, but my mouth went dry and I couldn't taste the same as before. I was getting worried and just wanted it all to be over with, but it felt like things were getting worse!!

This morning I started my thyroid hormone again, and I really feel better already. My salivary glands feel better already, and my tummy too.

I go back in on Tuesday for another whole body scan, then I won't have to worry about it again for a year!!

I am SOOO glad that is behind me now and I can concentrate on getting back to NORMAL!!