Thursday, August 30, 2007

Crazy Sexy Cancer

Kris Carr of the TLC documentary Crazy Sexy Cancer is blogging!

Also check out I'm Too Young For This for cancer resources for young adults and other blogging babes with cancer!

She's going on tour to promote the book and she'll be in DC next Tuesday at Tyson's Corner Barnes & Noble - I'm there!

Sunday, August 26, 2007


My parents were in town this week to attend a funeral for an old family friend who was killed in Iraq. He retired from the military and got a contracting job and decided to go for a year to make bank. He was only there for a month or so before getting exploded in a convoy. It's unbelievable that we are at war right now on two continents. I know it's not WW2 or anything, but probably close to 95% (give or take) of this country's population is virtually oblivious to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - they wouldn't even know we are fighting if it weren't for occasional headlines in the papers about another surge or more violence.

Working with a bunch of FSO's (foreign service officers) on the passport task force these last few weeks has sparked my wanderlust. I've had a tiny thought in the back of my mind for years now that I want to go to Iraq. There are lots of reasons - to help, serve, make a difference, see what's really going on out there, be a part of it. Every time I think about going to any overseas post I get gripped by "cancer-fear".

I'm trying to think of how to describe that - I guess basically I just feel so vulnerable. I think this feeling will eventually go away. I still have another hypo-hell and first year scans looming in January, and the fear that there will still be masses or new mets on the scans, and the possibility of retreatment. And the months of feeling ill and drained. After I get a "clean" scan, I can go two and then five years between scans with only monitoring of bloodwork, but it's still a lifetime of it, repeated ad nauseum. I try to put it in a box. Like here's my life and in this small box is my cancer. It's more like a black hole in the space of my life than a box. A box is contained, you can shut it and put it on the top shelf of the closet and forget it's there. Black holes are spots in space that are so dense they suck in anything that gets close.

Still, I want to go to Iraq. Probably it would not happen for a year or more if I could. Maybe the violence will be less at that point? Unlikely, but it's possible.

Sunday, August 19, 2007


Everyone jokes about who "They" are - you know, "they say such and so," for example. Who are "They"? Depending on the context, They are the Man, the Machine, the Government, the Experts, etc. - in general, The Establishment.

I was just reading over on Kyra's blog that "They" finally sent her passport back and that "They" stapled her new picture in her old passport so the two pics are side by side. LOL!

I have become the establishment.

People, I am They.

For some reason this amuses me immensely.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fitness Links!

Craig Ballantyne has some great new fitness content on his blog. Check it out!

Ballantyne's Hotel Room Wokout

Barbell Squat Exercise Form Demonstration

Six Minute Circuit Workout Free Sample
- from GrrlAthlete - includes exercise descriptions (Mom! :P)

good stuff!

Friday, August 03, 2007

Battery Recharge

This week has been soooo nice. I've gotten a MUCH needed break from the daily grind. I have not had to ride METRO ONCE (praise and rejoice). And can I tell you I have not looked at the papers once either! (Don't tell my boss...) I have absolutely NO IDEA what either North Korea or Iran is up to, whether the UN has done anything new, whether the Norks have tested another nuke, whether Al Qaeda is finally gone from Iraq, whether another Katrina or tsunami has suddenly hit some poor unsuspecting coastal city... Germany could be communist again and I would be oblivious! It is totally unlike me to not care about these things, but the relief from concern about the problems of the world and the burdensome feeling of duty to do SOMETHING anything to fix them is unbelievable. I don't feel one shred of guilt for turning a blind eye -- unravel world! fall apart into chaos and mayhem, do it quickly while I'm not on watch!

Perhaps I will reconsider my living arrangement, as I think I have identified one of my most HATED aspects of this rat race - the METRO. I could stay in Arlington a bit farther from a metro stop for less rent and spend the offset on parking downtown... hmmm....

Otherwise, I have also only worked about 15 hours total this week. Aside from the minor nervousness before my final test yesterday, it was pretty stress free. I deeply hope that this entire 8 week void will be similarly undemanding and I can return to work full of gusto in October (despite having to work Saturdays). All told, since the cancer experience, I have not slowed down once. I have not had a vacation, save for sick days taken to recover from surgery and in isolation while I was radioactive and could not be around humans. It's like tension on a rope - it only takes so much before the fibers slowly start to unravel one by one till you're hanging by a thread.

I have today off from work and although it's been ghastly hot here, I'm planning to bask by the pool, work out, get a pedicure and browse around the mall at Tyson's.