Moving forward

I just realized it's been a couple weeks since I posted! Time flies! This past week has been hard for me because I have been limited in my ability to EXERCISE!!! As if it's not enough to be dealing with CANCER, I injured my peroneal tendon on Saturday/Sunday and I've been hobbling around all week. On Monday, I was horrified when I woke up and I could not even WALK. Seriously, I had to crawl to the bathroom and then I crawled back to bed and cried because what the heck am I going to do, I can't even drive myself to the doctor!!!! After pulling myself together, I got out of bed and practiced putting weight on it until it was loosened up sufficiently for me to limp around. I then spent FOUR HOURS at the clinic waiting on X-rays, etc to rule out stress fracture. The nurse practitioner I got stuck with did NOT know anything about sports injuries. I kept telling her, it's my peroneal tendon, just give me a boot or something so I can walk around, cause I gotta go to work and the State Department, have you seen it, it is freaking huge. Of course, they gave me a CANE (I didn't want crutches), but did not have a walking boot, and I left and spent the rest of the day on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I've gradually gotten better, and now I can walk almost pain free, although I can tell there will be no running in the near future - it feels testy and weak. I will probably have to wait till I recover from the surgery before I can run again :( SO SAD. Yesterday I was so desperate for some exercise that I went to a pool nearby to swim laps. The last time I had a tendon problem - illiotibial band syndrome - I swam too. I used to swim competitively, so I know how to do it, I just don't cause it's more trouble than running.

Anyway, as for the surgery, it is next Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. I found a surgeon I really like and I feel really comfortable with her. However, I am filled with anxiety about the surgery and beginning this process of getting rid of the cancer. I've never had surgery before, so going under freaks me the hell out. And then I will wake up without a thyroid, which also freaks me the hell out because there are horrifying symptoms I read about with hypothyroidism. I am trying to just trust and be calm and not worry about things that have not happened yet and might not ever happen. I'm totally planning on being in the gym pedalling on the recumbant bike a week post-op, so hopefully I won't lose too much fitness or strength, although I am expecting a pretty significant set-back. In a way, it will be exciting to get to work my way up again. There will be new muscle to build, new miles to run... new goals to achieve.