Saturday, January 06, 2007

More Hilarity in Hypo-land, (In which the Universe plays a series of cruel jokes ...)

This is what I saw when I got to my office yesterday morning! Haha! The jokers...

I stayed at work till 5-5:30 Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday and Thursday were fine, but Friday was haaarrrd. I was really frayed yesterday for some reason. But I had to be there, there was just too much to tie up before possibly not being at work at all next week. Three people of our 4 person team (including myself) will be gone next week! Eek! I told the loner I would try to come in for at least half days Monday and Tuesday but I couldn't make any promises. It can be really super stressful when people aren't there and I don't know if I could handle the demands!! I think part of the reason Friday was so hard was because I had to talk to a lot of people around the building as opposed to staying in my office handling phone calls/emails, etc. People would be talking to me and I'd find myself just watching their face and thinking, what did you just say to me? Nod & smile.... !! That and the rain... always lovely when you walk to work in the rain!!

Oh, and in possibly the most hilarious thing that's happened to me at work... ever... yesterday I got locked in the bathroom. I kid you not. The lock would not retract and I was stuck in the stall. I was like, I'm hypo and on my last thread here and I'M LOCKED IN THE STALL??? You've got to be kidding me, Universe, this has got to be some kind of cruel joke! I tried to budge the screw with the pendant on my bracelet, and contemplated getting on the ground to crawl under... yuck. I stood there for several minutes wondering how long I'd have to wait before someone came along (I admit it was kind of nice to just stand there and do nothing - :) ). Finally, in a moment of inspiration, I started jiggling the door frame and was able to muster the strength to give way for the door to open without the lock retracting. It never ends.

That was not nearly as bad as what happened to me on Thursday as I was on my way home. It was the Abominable Trip From Hell. Despite the squillions spent on DC's metro system, it occasionally does not work. (Shocking, I know.) And my normal 30 minute commute (which includes 20 minutes of walking) can take more than an hour. Like on Thursday - an hour and 20 minutes from door to door. There was some mechanical problem and they were operating the trains manually and it took FOR.EV.ER to get out of the district and into VA. Like what normally takes 2 -3 minutes from the last stop in DC to the first stop in VA took 40. (And might I remind you there is A RIVER between DC and VA - and we're talking about metro here... underground...) And when the trains are backed up like that, they are PACKED because more and more people leave work to go home and there's just no way to move them off the platform. Luckily I got on the first train, but we were like sardines. I was wedged in so tight I didn't even have to hold on, it was that close. And hot. I was just sweating in my winter coat. I? Was Deeply Distressed.

Here I am, wedged claustrophobically in between three sweating men, stuck UNDER THE POTOMAC RIVER in a dark tunnel for an interminable and indefinite period of time, and by the way, I'm hypo. I was freaking out. Really. I thought I was going to pass out or throw up - or worse, both. If I had passed out, no one would have even noticed because I wouldn't have fallen over, I would have just been slumped there wedged in until the train finally got to the station. I felt pretty ill. I kept thinking, if I start to feel worse, I'm going to tell that guy there I'm going to be ill and I need to sit and hopefully he will ask someone to give me a seat! I wanted to cry. It was awful. Even the sane and normal people were looking strung out.

One more thing... all the people who go to the gym in the morning for cardio without brushing your teeth? (You know who you are!) ... How can I say this nicely? What is wrong with you?!!! Ew, don't you know I'm only a couple feet away on the next machine over and I can smell your stinky morning breath since you're huffing and puffing all over the place?! Honestly!! One of the reasons I dislike gym cardio... you're completely held captive there on the machine to the smells. If someone comes along with bad b.o. or - God forbid - farts, (once is bad enough, but if you have to keep doing it, GET OFF THE MACHINE!!) - you're stuck! It's not like you can hold your breath! I'm just sayin'!!

Thank goodness the weekend is here!

1 comment:

maxie's pad said...

I'm speechless about this post ! Wow !!!!! You have certainly been going through the mill ! I must say, that you are still writing excellently despite Hypo-land. Perhaps you could stay home from work next week?