"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sleep, poop, hair, big love, tragedy
Last night marked an unprecedented two nights in a row that Avery spent more than an hour in her crib at the start of the night. I hesitate to write anything about it on the internet because that's a great way to ensure she never does it again, but, well, here I am shunning superstition and writing about it. If she does it again tonight it will be a miracle! I am keeping my fingers crossed. I really like her going down in her crib for a long stretch to start the night. I can come downstairs and have a cup of tea, talk to Adam, and I can get in bed and drift off in whatever position I like. However, I also really like sleeping part of the night with Avery. I love cuddling with her in the night. It is so sweet. I don't even mind nursing a few times. As long as she goes right back to sleep (which is what happens more often than not) I just doze while she nurses, curled around her like a big shrimp and a little shrimp, and then fall asleep again once she's done.
A funny thing happened yesterday when I was changing a poopy diaper. I was doing a little song and dance to entertain Avery while I was changing her, "Oh it's just a little poop! It's not a big poop! Just a little one!" [Cue ironic smiting from universe.] All of a sudden she goes "ehhhh!" and poops again right as I am cleaning her up. Ok, everything's still contained in the diaper, no big deal. Surely she is done now. So I fold the diaper over, and all of a sudden she's pooping again! And again! And again! Poop on the outside of the diaper, on a nearby burp cloth I grabbed and stuck underneath, and yes, on the changing pad. I had a flashback to the newborn days when she would poo explosively all over the dresser, the wall and the curtains every time you opened her diaper. Avery does everything with exuberance.
This picture cracks me up. Her hair is a mess. She will no longer let me put a barrette in it to keep it out of her face. If I even touch her hair she immediately puts her hands up there to see what I put in it. If I manage to distract her and get a clip on her head, she inevitably discovers it soon after and pulls it out. She gets this look on her face like, aha, I have found the thing you put in my hair and now I am going to remove it! When I was at La Leche League a few weeks ago someone said she had Justin Beiber hair... hahaha.
Sometimes when I'm holding Avery or nursing her, I get so completely overwhelmed by how heartbreakingly much I love her that it nearly brings me to tears. She seems bigger every day to me - she's all legs and arms now even when she's curled up with me. She's starting to feel like a toddler instead of an infant. I was totally unprepared for the emotional extremes of parenting.
I feel terrible about Japan. Watching video footage of the earthquake and tsunami is horrifying. What a strange world. It sometimes seems like we're all just teetering on the edge, doesn't it?