Sunday, July 22, 2007
I regularly get really powerful nostalgia. Not sure why I'm sharing this, but it's been on my mind. I think it means I'm not in the right place somehow... something is off in my chi. If I was living fully and passionately, completely absorbed in the present, I would not be overcome by random waves of intense nostalgia. Sometimes small things set it off. Cooking my eggs. The way the light looks at the sunrise. A memory. Or nothing at all in particular. There's not really a specific time I get nostalgic for... sometimes it's moments in my childhood, certain memories... sometimes college or other more recent times. There are times I decidedly do NOT get nostalgic for. Alabama is one of those. I never ever wish I could relive that place. Not for a minute. Nostalgia is it's own sensation. It's not remembering, not even fond remembering, although that is part of it. It's not missing, either... It's a mix of memory, longing, joy, sadness, missing, emptyness... all at once. Lately I have the odd, unsettled feeling like I'm missing out on something... or just missing something. Like life is passing me by... I feel inordinately sad about the simple passing of time.