Sunday, July 22, 2007

Nostalgia

I regularly get really powerful nostalgia. Not sure why I'm sharing this, but it's been on my mind. I think it means I'm not in the right place somehow... something is off in my chi. If I was living fully and passionately, completely absorbed in the present, I would not be overcome by random waves of intense nostalgia. Sometimes small things set it off. Cooking my eggs. The way the light looks at the sunrise. A memory. Or nothing at all in particular. There's not really a specific time I get nostalgic for... sometimes it's moments in my childhood, certain memories... sometimes college or other more recent times. There are times I decidedly do NOT get nostalgic for. Alabama is one of those. I never ever wish I could relive that place. Not for a minute. Nostalgia is it's own sensation. It's not remembering, not even fond remembering, although that is part of it. It's not missing, either... It's a mix of memory, longing, joy, sadness, missing, emptyness... all at once. Lately I have the odd, unsettled feeling like I'm missing out on something... or just missing something. Like life is passing me by... I feel inordinately sad about the simple passing of time.

1 comment:

maxie's pad said...

Nostalgia. I loved how you wrote about that feeling....very precise. I don't however think that it means we're not in the right place. Sometimes I think about life as developing a necklace with beads. My author, teacher, Jungian sister, and dear friend, Marlene Schiwy, calls experiences bead memories. Different experiences become beads on the necklace of our lives. I see nostalgia as a natural thing that developes over certain times. Generally these times have distinct emotional content when we remember them. I know that that longing feeling that accompanies nostalgia can really hurt. But, I like to think that in some way, nostalgia can be a guiding force. ie. perhaps, showing me how I felt about the past, and how I would like to use that energy in creating my future. What feeling am I longing for again? And how can I perhaps fulfill that longing now ??
Sorry if this is more than a comment.Thankyou for giving me food for thought. REading your blog comforts me , Michelle.
Thankyou.
m in m

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