A few things...

- Adam is getting close to being done with his current assignment with the P-3 squadron. He'll be checking out before the end of November! He has to go on deployment one more time to turn over with his replacement. That will probably happen in the beginning of November, and he assures me he is going to be home before the 20th. He better because I am going to be one pissed off pregnant chick if I'm here in Hawaii all by MYSELF on Thanksgiving!

- Adam's next job is going to be at the Joint Intelligence Operations Center (JIOC) on the other side of the island, near where I work, and near Pearl Harbor. If you look at the map of Hawaii, Adam works right now on the upper right side where it says Kaneohe Station and we live basically right off the highway on the bay there. I currently work on the left side in the middle where it says Aiea at Camp Smith, and right below that where it says Halawa is where Adam's new job is going to be.

- Instead of having to commute all the way across the island, we are hoping to move to the other side into military housing. The commute is not the only reason for this. The military housing is new, bigger, and has central air conditioning. It's all located right around Halawa. We drive over there almost every weekend anyway to go to Costco, Whole Foods and Target. If we are able to move it will be more convenient. The downsides to moving are that it is more crowded on the other side of the island, and hotter. There is more traffic. Oh, and I will have just given birth two months before! Our lease ends June 30, and we are not eligible to move into military housing until our lease is up. We should know 30-45 days before that whether they have a house for us or not. Since we are so far out, we should make it to the top of the waiting list by then - keeping my fingers crossed!

- Adam kind of had to sweet talk the lady at the housing office because we are technically not eligible for a 3 bedroom house. It is aggravating and unfair and I think the lady sympathized because she pulled some strings and got us on the list anyway. Adam basically told her we were going to expand our family before we leave here and they will just have to move us again. Which is true. We are hoping to at least be pregnant again before we leave here in 3 years, if not already have another baby by that time. The only two bedroom houses they have are far away and were built in the 70's! We will have 5 bedrooms worth of stuff by the time we set up our nursery and we are in a 4 bedroom place now, so it would be impossible to fit in a 2 bedroom anyway. Adam and I each had queen size beds, and we got a new king size when we got married, plus we have an office. With the nursery, that is 5 rooms of stuff!

-I ordered some more maternity pants from Gap and Old Navy today. I have ordered several pairs online already and ended up sending them back because they were too big. Hopefully these fit because my regular clothes seem to be getting too tight. I'm in the weird stage where my regular clothes are starting to not fit right (shirts riding up and too tight across the chest and pants too tight around the waist), but I know maternity stuff is going to be ridiculous on me right now because I by no means have a bump yet. It's coming soon though. I am having cramping the last couple days which means my uterus is growing again! At least my boobs seem to have stopped for the moment!

Pregnancy Crazy

EEK! The ticker baby is looking all baby-ish and not like a little alien baby anymore! Cool!

So, Adam informed me after reading my last post that he is decidedly NOT "poor and beleaguered" and that he would have fed me the Oreos. In fact, to prove his point, he gleefully participated in extending the dietary debauchery through the weekend. I think he thinks it's fun: like we are back in college and to hell with our love handles!

I may or may not have gotten into the candy and Oreo's again on Friday (ok, I did), and then I was not feeling nauseated AT ALL, and I started to really freak myself out that maybe I was going to have a miscarriage and OH MAH GAWD, WHAT IF I KILLED MAH BAYBEEE WITH OREOOOOS! Which: I know. Totally irrational. But pregnancy hormones do some weird things to your brain. And we still haven't heard the baby's heartbeat. And I was the only one in my office on Friday, so I spent the better part of the day going down internet black holes, and I advise you not to do this if you are pregnant because NO GOOD CAN COME OF GOOGLING "CAN I HAVE A MISCARRIAGE AND NOT KNOW". Trust me on this one. (In fact, I discovered that you CAN have a miscarriage and not know. There were plenty of women on the chat boards who went in for their 12 week appointment only to find out the baby stopped growing in week 8. )

I got home and decided to cook some shrimp and by the time I was finished, I was standing there gagging as I pulled them out of the pan, so I guess I'm still nauseated, although no less paranoid. Nothing "healthy" appeals to eat. My normal routine of grilled meats, salads or cooked veggies, nuts, fruit, is not appetizing. I can't stand the idea of uncooked meat. Veggies don't appeal. Even fruit makes me feel a bit queasy. When I couldn't eat the shrimp on Friday I asked Adam to get me a pizza from Papa John's. Can I tell you I hardly even remember the last time I ate a pizza from Papa John's?! I don't think we'll be doing it again either because that damn pizza cost almost $30!!! For a thin crust supreme. Since when does a freaking pizza cost that much? Is it because we are in Hawaii? And it was much smaller than either of us remembered. We finished off all but one piece between the two of us. Man it was good though.

Satisfying a pregnancy craving is like having a religious experience. Saturday we went to Teddy's Bigger Burgers and I had the best hamburger dripping with ketchup and mayo, plus nice thick fries and a hand-made chocolate milk shake. And Sunday I found myself BAKING COOKIES. Like, getting all domestic with the measuring cups and stuff. And then Adam and I sat there giggling like five year olds licking the spoons and the bowl and then eating gooey, melty chocolate chip cookies straight out of the oven.

Egads.

On a positive note, I got caught up on workouts! I actually went and did my 4 mile loop on Thursday night after I wrote that last post. And I did the same plus lift on Friday, and did the loop again on Saturday. So really I only missed one workout last week - on my planned day off.

We watched "The Business of Being Born" last night - which, I know, Ricki Lake - but I thought it was pretty interesting. If you are thinking about having a natural birth, I would give it a try. It's definitely pro-natural birth and anti-intervention, so if that gets under your skin, better to avoid. There was a lot of footage of natural home births, which was kind of fascinating, and made me feel more confident about wanting to pursue a natural birth. Seeing those women absolutely glowing after giving birth was inspiring (as opposed to watching like TLC's Baby Story where the women are screaming bloody murder and the babies are all in distress). I remember when I first heard Ricki Lake gave birth in her bathtub, I thought she was crazy and that was gross and misguided. But the more I've read about birth, the more open I've become to the idea of giving birth at home, even in the water. And by the time we were done watching that last night, even Adam was like, maybe you should give birth in our bathtub? :) Even though we'll be 25% of the way thru this pregnancy at the end of this week, we still have PLENTY of time to make these decisions.

Let's just pretend Week 9 never happened, shall we?

Week 9. Oh dear. Let's file Week 9 under "The Week I Sucked At Pregnancy" and move right the hell on, M'Kay? This week's behavior was definitely not befitting of a Pregnancy Viking and shall henceforth be stricken from the record and not be admissible as evidence in a court of law.

First off, I skipped not one, not two, but THREE (3) of my planned workouts. Two cardio and one lifting session. Yes, I have my excuses (am pregnant, am tired, am lazy, am bored with said workouts, etc) blah blah blah... no more! There is no - repeat NO - reason to miss workouts unless I am lying in a sickbed. I have pleeeenty of time during work to go move my body for an hour. Plan for self-flagellation: double up tomorrow and Sunday (and maybe Saturday too). Now don't go worrying - doubling up only means I will do my regular lifting plus go for a walk. Hardly overtraining territory. And Saturday it might mean my walk plus a yoga session. Remember, Self: We have never regretted working out!

Secondly, my diet this week... yikes. Can we just erase this week from the history books, nutritionally speaking? You know, wipe the slate clean, no harm no foul? No? Well then, bless me Father, for I have sinned, it's been (uhhhhh) 13? years since my last confession. It has not helped matters that I have been having cravings for all sorts of strange and interesting things. And it's different every day. I normally cannot eat the things I am craving more than once or I get barfy thinking about it.

On Saturday there were the aforementioned buttermilk pancakes doggypaddling in butter and syrup, plus a farmer's omlette! And that was just breakfast!

Sunday it was shrimp scampi that I made with lots of butter and feta and garlic.

Monday featured steak and a salad dripping with ranch dressing, egg, avocado, tomato, and sesame seeds (at Buzz's!).

On Tuesday I had a craving for pizza, which I have been wanting for a week now, but not yet indulged. Instead I satisfied another craving for peanut butter and salad made with butter lettuce leaves (not together).

Yesterday I had a craving for a refried bean burrito with cheddar cheese, but I was like, no that is just ridiculous. But then I got home from work and found a can of mexican black beans in the pantry and the next thing you know I'm shoveling them + shredded cheddar in my piehole with a spoon (we didn't have any tortillas). I ate nearly the whole can. (No I did not spend the whole night tooting, but thanks for wondering.)

And today. Ye gods. *Hangs head in shame* Pregnancy FAIL. Last night I was laying in bed not able to fall asleep, so I said to Adam, I can't sleep my head is racing around in circles. A few minutes later he asked what I was thinking about, and I was like, I'm having an argument with myself about whether I should get Subway for lunch tomorrow or pack something healthy from the fridge. Or maybe go get a slice of pizza and a DQ blizzard. I finally fell asleep and this morning I dutifully packed a couple of hard boiled eggs, cottage cheese, a baggie of cut veggies and an apple and peanut butter for my lunch. But the junk food was like a siren song, and the thought of eating my cottage cheese... barrrrf. Here's what I ended up eating instead:

- 2 hard boiled eggs
- snack pack of peanut butter sandwich crackers, snack pack of oreo cookies, about 5 Reese's mini peanut butter cups
- 6" Italian BMT Sub (with MAYO! The horror!) and a packet of baked lays, plus 3 chocolate chip cookies and a diet Sprite
- a Twix PB bar, 3 Heath miniatures, 4 or 5 more Reese's and 2 Lindt truffles

Sweet baby Jeebus!

You might be wondering if I made myself sick eating all that candy and crap. The Lord's honest truth is: I felt better after I ate it. Seriously. Not even trying to rationalize. I woke up with a headach and feeling all nauseated and pukey, right up until I started in with the peanut butter crackers. And magically my headache went away and the nausea stopped. But lo, the guilt!

Seriously, I need to get "TWO LBS" tatooed on my forehead so I remember that WE'S NOT S'POSEDA GET FATZ YET!!! You'd think I would remember that considering I complain to my poor, beleaguered husband on a daily basis about how Fat I Ammmm! And I feel frummmmmpyyyy! And did I mention faaaaat??? (Even though truly, I hadn't gained any weight yet at my 8 week appointment... although that was before this week's festivities.) I have 3 weeks left in the first trimester to do better!!!

Midwife v. Doctor

Well the birth center tour went pretty well yesterday. It is a fairly new facility and they have 10 rooms, 4 of which are brand spanking new with a nice pull out couch for dad and a BIG jacuzzi tub you can sit in while you're in labor (you can't deliver in the tub though). I really liked the lady who was leading the tour. She is a lamaze coach and really in favor of natural birth, and she said they really try to accomodate whatever kind of birth you want to have. She said stuff like, "channelling your mother's powerful natural birth," and "sacred experience" and "wisdom of your own body." You can have the lights dimmed, and they have birthing balls and the tubs, and you don't have to lay on your back to deliver the baby. She also said they are big on keeping the baby with mom and dad for the first couple hours after the birth instead of whisking it away for tests and stuff. Overall I think it would be a good experience. BUT - they don't have ANY midwives. And the doctors all have their own protocols so it's up to each of them how they like to do things.

The midwives at Tripler are certified nurse midwives. Midwife means "with women" and it's a more hands-on experience. The midwives spend more time with you and do more teaching and coaching than doctors. With the midwives, you call them at home if you have a question. For the doctors, you have to call the clinic and talk to the answering machine. Women have been having quite a few healthy babies for many thousands of years, and in many other cultures it is typical to go through pregnancy and birth with a midwife instead of a doctor. In America there seems to be a culture of fear and we are so reliant on drugs and machines in our healthcare that the whole experience is medicalized. Pregnancy and birth are normal parts of women's lives. We are having babies, it's not a disease! It's not like surgeons and doctors won't be available if something goes wrong. I'll be in a hospital. And if it's not a normal pregnancy (something is wrong with me or baby) then we won't be able to see the midwives (hospital policy). The doctor's main goal is getting the baby out alive/healthy. They don't necessarily care if you have "your ideal birth experience", or even a natural birth. I know it all depends on who you end up with, but in many cases, doctors are too quick to induce labor or go straight to a C-section. Midwives are experienced with coaching women through the process of labor and delivery. Since I am hoping for a natural birth, this seems more in line with the experience I want.

So I haven't made up my mind yet. I'm going to register us for a tour of the Tripler facilities, and I think I will have a better sense after my first appoitment with the midwife on Oct. 13.

As for pregnancy news... nothing has changed. I'm still feeling nauseated all day long, although thankfully I haven't been puking. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to throw up every day for weeks on end. Being nauseated is bad enough! I'm really super tired, and I have insomnia. It's awful! My stomach seems like it's starting to pooch out more every day. I wake up in the morning and it looks fairly normal, and then by the end of the day it's all poochy! All the books say you don't start to show until 3 or even 4 months, but I'm wondering if my uterus has already doubled in size and it's getting bigger all the time, how is that not displacing other stuff and making my stomach pooch out?! I can imagine it won't be long until I will need to buy some maternity clothes.

Doctors

Adam took me out to dinner at Buzz's Steakhouse at Kailua beach park last night to celebrate our engagement anniversary. I thought it was terribly sweet that he remembered and made a big deal about it and even said I was the best investment he ever made. We always joke about how he had to work hard to "convince" me we were supposed to be together. Those of you who know us from the beginning and know how many ups and downs we had can understand!

I had yet another doctor's appointment today. I saw the OB/GYN last week for our first prenatal appointment and had about 5 gallons of blood drained out of my arm. Then I had to go get stuck again yesterday to have bloodwork done for my endocrinologist today. The OB doesn't even want to see you when you are pregnant until you are about 8 weeks along! Waiting all that time is torture. And then at the first visit nothing happens. We don't get to hear Papoose's heartbeat until our next appointment at 12 weeks.

The endocrinologist, on the other hand, needs to see you RIGHT AWAY, THIS VERY MINUTE when you are pregnant and (as I am) a cancer patient. I saw him 4 weeks ago, practically as soon as I finished peeing on the sticks, and then saw him again today. As expected, my TSH is going up so I get a higher dose of thyroid hormone to keep my levels suppressed. I can't have anywhere near a normal TSH because it could encourage the growth of tumors if there are any cancerous cells left floating around my body that didn't get zapped by the radioactive iodine.

The first thing my endo did was freak me right the hell out. He asked me when my last scan was (June) - when I took a tracer dose of radioactive iodine - and whether they had told me to wait a while before getting pregnant. WTF?! Uh, I remember when I got a whopping treatment dose of RAI back in 2007 they told me to wait a year before getting pregnant. But I don't remember them saying anything during my scan, althought that doesn't mean they didn't and I just missed it. Well, admittedly I was not really that concerned even when he was making a big deal out of it because the tracer dose is such a small amount that a month or two should be plenty of time to get out of my system. It was about 2 months between my scan and getting knocked up. Heck, even a week or two would probably suffice. That stuff degrades and has a half-life of only about 10 days and anyway it flushes out of your system more and more every time you pee. He called the nuclear medicine people and they were able to confirm that it shouldn't be a problem. Crisis averted.

I'm on my way to get a tour of the birth center at the clinic near our house. Because we are Navy, my initial appointment was at the military hospital, Tripler, which is about a 30 minute drive from our house (less if traffic is good). We can get switched to Castle Medical Center which is close by if we want, so we are going to take a tour and see how we like it. My biggest concern is that I would prefer to have my prenatal care with a midwife instead of a physician, and then have the birth attended by a midwife. And they have a midwife program at Tripler which I was accepted into (they only take a certain number each month). I don't think they have a midwife program at Castle. My reasons for this are numerous and I will probably talk more about them as time goes on, but the biggest is that midwives tend to favor less intervention during pregnancy and birth. They view pregnancy/birth as a natural process, not a medical event. And they are more likely to provide the support needed for a natural birth than a busy doctor. The drawback to Tripler is (obviously) that it is far away, and we'll have to drive there once I go into labor. I'm guessing less stress on the birth day is better!

PS: I put up two pregnancy tickers. I like the one on the right that shows a little 3D baby floating there. I did notice though that the baby looks pretty scary and weird right now. By the end of this week it should look more like a little human and not like an alien anymore!

A Year Ago

A year ago today Adam and I got engaged in Wichita, KS. If you had told me on that day that in one year we would be married and expecting our first baby it wouldn't have surprised me one bit! It is exactly what we both wanted and I'm very happy with everything going on in my life right now. Well, except for my job... still not happy there.

I haven't broken the news at work yet. I want to wait a couple more weeks at least to get past the time of the highest risk of miscarriage. I figure next week or the week after I will tell them. I don't exactly look pregnant yet so nobody is any the wiser. Although my uterus is apparently the size of a grapefruit (!!) it is still "in my pelvis" (whatever that means) so there's no pregnant belly to show off at the moment. And Papoose is only about the size of a gummi bear right now. Most of the expanding is just bloat at the moment. All my clothes still fit, although my pants are getting a little tight. Supposedly around week 12 my uterus will start expanding up towards my bellybutton and give me a more pregnant look. I can't wait!

The first trimester is such a weird time. Especially because not everybody knows! My stomach is getting rounder but I don't look pregnant yet, just fat. I'm hungry but nauseated and nothing appeals to eat. I'm tired and exhausted, but I can't sleep at night. All of this is supposed to get better by the second trimester. The time is dragging on right now. I'm sure I will look back and think how fast it all went by!

Papoose

Ok. I cannot possibly wait one more minute to tell you all that I'm pregnant! I'm a little more than 8 weeks along. We hadn't even really started trying in earnest and the next thing you know I'm peeing on a stick. Wheeee! What can I say? I guess we're fertile. Or lucky. Or some combination of the two. In fact, at one point I was kind of wishy-washy about the whole idea because I was wondering if we would regret not just being the two of us for a while (since we just got married in February), and then there was the matter of wanting to lose 20 lbs before embarking on a weight-gaining-venture, but then the day of ovulation came and we were like, eh, what are we waiting for? We want a baby! We both suspected I was pregnant right away. But I waited the requesite excruciating two weeks before taking a home pregnancy test. My hands were shaking as I sat there holding the stick and watching a second blue line appear. Even though I suspected as much, I could hardly believe it. And Adam didn't believe it!

The line is very faint, but I'm not sure you can be just a little bit pregnant.

He insisted we go get another brand of home pregnancy test. He wanted one with a plus sign, even though I explained it works the same way as the one we had. The next morning I peed on another stick.

Still positive.

I know it's hard to see in this pic, and the second line is still faint, but it's there. We got plus sign pregnancy tests and I proceeded to pee on both of those in the following days.

Peeing on a stick never gets old.

It's positive. Let's move on.

On Monday I went to the clinic and got a blood test to confirm, as well as some counseling and a referral to OB/GYN. They estimate my due date at April 30, even though I know when I ovulated and I think it will not be until a few days later, like May 4. We're having a baby!!!!!!!

Half the time I'm like Squee!! I'm going to have a baby!!!

And the other half I'm like oh... my LORD. I'm going to have a BABY?! Like... grow a human being in my uterus and then it's going to come out of my VAGINA??? Can I change my mind? I mean, sure, I am aware of the mechanics of having a baby, but I have to say the reality of this didn't quite sink in during 5th grade sex-ed class. I guess it's one of those things that you don't understand until it really happens to you.

But mostly: SQUEEE!!!

Am I really going to have a baby?! It's still too soon to tell, maybe. It seems so crazy and unreal and huge and exciting and overwhelming all at once.

Before I got pregnant I would read about pregnant women getting sick and hormonal during the first trimester and for some reason I always thought it wouldn't happen to me... hahaha HAAA! I am so hilariously one big ball of hormonal, paranoid, nauseated, pregnant glory.

Some of the first trimester joys I have experienced so far:

- Let's just get this out of the way up front, shall we? MAH BOOBS. They have taken on a life of their own. They hurt. Are huge. Need special contraptions to keep them from pulling me over forward. And apparently this is just getting started. Let's not speak of it.

- I need olives! I love olives! I will eat 50 olives at once, I will finish the economy size jar in 4 days!!!! I must buy more olives! No wait... olives are disgusting! I can't believe I bought all those olives. Look at them just sitting there all green and slimy and barrrrrrf.

- Pickles! Pickles are the best! No wait...the very idea of pickles makes be gag a little! What is that you're cooking???? FETA CHEESE???? *BARRRRF*

- And so on.

- *Yawn* zzzzzzzzz (Constantly. I am so tired! Bone tired! Making another human out of two cells is hard work, people!)

- Am fat. That is all.

- Except to say, we are supposed to only gain 2 lbs in the first three months, otherwise we are fat cows who ate our weight in pancakes. Preferably smothered in butter and drowning in syrup. Mmmmmm.

- I'm hungry. No wait, I might barf? I know we already covered that, but it bears repeating and if I manage to only gain two pounds in the first trimester it will a) all be in my bra; and b) be because I... *barf*.

Only four more weeks to go in the first trimester people!

I bore myself.

Seriously, this blog is boring lately, it's bothering even ME, and it's MINE! But I have nothing to blog about at the moment. Or, rather, I do, but can't/won't/don't want to.

Enough with the sickness.... I thought I got better, but then my nose got all stuffed up. Now it's either allergies or I don't know what but it's truly making me sort of miserable! And I'm not sleeping again, so it's contributing to my already-weariness. I'm so tired I'm falling asleep on the couch at 7:30, but then when I go get in bed I can't fall asleep? It's like I can't get my body/brain to STFU.

I am deeply despondent about the ending of season 2 of True Blood and I cannot BELIEVE they are waiting almost a fraking YEAR to start the next season! Yes, even though the season finale was sort of anti-climactic, I still loves it. It didn't surprise me that it ended with a fizzle because they went off on that whole Maryanne tangent and that was really kind of annoying. If they had just stuck with the storyline in book 2, it would have been better. The show climaxed at the whole Light of Day/Godric-burning thing anyway. Pffft. I suppose in the meantime I will content myself to read the rest of the books. I'm on book 5 right now. And I just heard Charlaine Harris published another book in the series!

I can't even look at the news because I get sick with Fear & Loating of Obamacare and all the other retardedness going on in the government these days. Sigh. Let's just say I didn't vote for him. Not that I really had high hopes for McCain either, but at least we wouldn't be swiftly tilting towards socialism.

Speaking of "swiftly tilting", you know, that was like my all time favorite book when I was younger - A Swiftly Tilting Planet. It was so good. I should read it again and find out why I liked it so much the first time. I'm guessing it probably had a bigger impact on me than I realize.

I used to read SO MUCH. I used to zip through piles of library books. I don't read as much anymore. Probably because I spend so much time on the computer reading stuff at work, I don't feel like reading anymore after that.

Let's see, let's see... there's bullshit at work, but I don't really want to go into it. It's still hot. Although now we have our a/c in the living room it makes things MUCH more pleasant. Except I've noticed now that we have the house shut up more that it smells funny in there. Like stuffy or mildewy or something. Great. It probably IS, we just didn't notice it when we had all the windows/doors open all the time.

That's it for now. I'm going home to watch Martha! :D

Sick!

Last week I succumbed to the office crud that was going around. I woke up on Thursday feeling icky with a sore throat and ended up going home early feeling feverish. I stayed home from work on Friday and spent pretty much the whole weekend on the couch. I didn't get it too badly. My only symptoms were really the sore throat and feeling deeply tired. To the point where we came home from church and the grocery store on Sunday and I laid down and slept for two hours. I've been sleeping like 10 hours a night and then napping during the day. I was worried about how I was going to make it through work, but I've been ok, even though I'm still dragging. I think the worst of it is over. It was kind of a weird illness - I guess my body was fighting it off or something, instead of actually getting full blown sick. I just don't get sick, it's very unusual for me! Besides that whole cancer thing, I haven't been sick since college. Well, ok, I got the flu one time when I went on a work retreat and was locked away with the sick person, and about 70% of us came down with the flu. It was so bad they ended our conference early and sent us all home. But other than that, I don't get colds or anything. Even when everyone else around me is getting sick, I usually power through. I have a strong immune system. Anyway, that was my weekend... sleeping and football. How was yours?

One man's trash... as they say.

I got sucked into watching this documentary on tv last night about people who eat unconventional diets (like vegan raw foodists). They had this one lady on there who was a Freegan. Have you ever heard of this? These people live by principles of anti-consumerism. They try to scavenge everything they use - clothes, laundry detergent, soap, furniture and even food. They followed this lady around New York city as she went on a "Trash Tour" gathering food out of trash cans.

I'm not sure what I think about this. I mean, they weren't eating rotten or half-eaten food. They were finding food in packages, unopened, maybe close to the expiration date. Or food from restaurants and shops that just discard everything at the end of the day. Outside of one bagel shop that has "fresh bagels every day" they found bags of bagels made earlier that morning that didn't sell, just put out for trash. Same thing with fruits and vegetables. Cartons of eggs - if one egg was broken, the whole dozen was thrown out. Ready-to-eat meals in packages like soups, sandwiches, etc.

The idea doesn't sound particularly appetizing to me, but in the same token, it is shocking and disappointing how much STUFF we throw away in this country. I remember years ago being in a store after Christmastime where they were pulling wrapping paper off the shelves and putting it in a big trash bin. I asked what they were going to do with it and the clerk said, oh, just throw it away. I was horrified. I asked her why they don't donate it to a shelter or some place that provides toys for underpriviliged children to wrap presents. She said she didn't know, but I dug further and it turns out it messes up profit margins to do stuff like that. Supply and demand. People or companies have to pay for the "free" paper that goes to shelters. If the paper is somehow recycled, it causes paper to be less valuable - if supply goes up, demand goes down and prices go down. When I worked at a restaurant we threw away tons of food. Especially on the days we had buffets. Trays and trays of food went into the garbage.

Anyway, like I said, I'm not sure how I feel about this, and I'd never think of doing it myself. But it's still heartbreaking in a tragic postmodern way.