And then there were three

To our great surprise and delight, Avery Lynn was born at 8:44 on Saturday morning, April 24. She weighed 7 lbs 1 oz and was 17 inches long. We are so smitten with her! Life has been revolving around the Little Elf since the moment of her birth.

My labor was short and intense. My water broke around midnight Friday night and the contractions began shortly after that and went to being only 2-3 minutes apart within a couple of hours. I managed to have the natural unmedicated birth I wanted, and for that I am very thankful. Avery was so alert during the first couple hours after birth, and we were breastfeeding before they even took her away to be weighed and measured. I have been reliving the birth to the point of occasional torment and I need to type it all out before I forget, as it's already becoming a blur replaced by the warm glow of my sweet baby's face.

I am shocked by how incredibly and deliciously beautiful she is to me. She is so miraculously tiny and perfect I cannot stop staring at her. She has the most adorable pink rosebud mouth, and this full head of hair that slays me dead whenever I see it.
Every time I see the little swirl on the back of her head my heart shatters into a million pieces and whenever she's up on my shoulder I nuzzle the back of her head and want to stuff her in my nose the smell is so wonderful.
When she nurses, I just stare at her and she seems like such a small, vulnerable creature. There is nothing more heartbreakingly precious than watching a newborn nurse. Her tiny, skinny tummy pressed up against me, her legs scrunched up in the fetal position, her wee little toes curling. I try to memorize every crease in her impossibly small hands, the curve of her ears, her delicate hair. She seems like she's changing so much already since we were in the hospital.

She sleeps most of the time, but she's becoming more interactive every day. When she sleeps, she dreams and makes the funniest faces. She smiles, or scrunches up her little brow, or makes shapes with her perfect pink lips. She's hardly been put down since she was born.

I can't believe how intensely I love her and what an overwhelming expanse of emotions it is - elation, gratitude, fear for her safety, and sadness that she is going to change so fast and grow up so quickly.

You are so loved baby girl!

What I'm up to these days

Mainly I've been obsessively reading birth stories on the internet (hello Babycenter forums) and focusing on how many people give birth before or after their due dates. It's nearly impossible to tell because it seems like about 70% of the ladies announcing their births were induced early for one reason or another, or had scheduled c-sections. It seems like the majority of them give birth around 39 weeks, but like I said, artificial inductions ahoy.

I've been having quite a few contractions, but nothing painful, and certainly nothing labor-like. I realize you can have contractions for *WEEKS* before the actual birth, and I am mentally tormenting myself with thoughts of going two weeks past my due date. Nay, two weeks past what my due date would be if I actually DID conceive on day 24 of my cycle instead of day 14. Surely this will not happen to me, internets? Seriously, do you think? That would mean I would not give birth until... May ... 24! Holy shiz, it cannot be so. Let it not be so. Mom tells me she went two weeks past her due date.

According to our Bradley class and the interwebz, the average length of a pregnancy is actually 41 weeks and 1 day from last menstrual period. [Even though very few women actually have 28 day cycles and ovulation is unpredictable.] However, the interwebz are very clear on the fact that there is a big ol' bell curve and a pretty wide window of "normal" gestation length. Normal, full term babies can be born at 36 or 37 weeks, or at 42-43 weeks. The latter is really uncommon, mainly because most docs will induce before then. The point being that even if you KNOW for sure when you conceived and can therefore estimate your due date accurately, your particular body/baby could be several weeks faster or slower at gestation than that.

Basically I wish I was in labor right now, and just about every other thought in my head is wondering when it will happen and what if it doesn't happen EVER AND I STAY PREGNANT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Totally normal stuff here.

I'm also still working, even though everyone is like, "you're still working?!" Well, yes, what else would I be doing? To be honest, I really wish I could stop working, but I do want the majority of my maternity leave to be after the baby is born and the idea that I might stay pregnant for several more weeks keeps me at my desk. I am tired and unmotivated and my brain is squishy and won't concentrate on much other than BABY, BIRTH, BABY, BIRTH, BABY. I suppose I would be doing the same thing at home, but at least I wouldn't be stuck in this chair all day going bleary eyed, staring at the computer and having to drag my exhausted butt out of bed at 6 am. WOE!

What I haven't been doing very well is keeping up with my workouts. During the move I basically did not go to the gym or do any formal exercise. I think I was getting enough anyway. But since then, I just haven't had the motivation or energy for it. I think I did 3 days last week and I've done 2 so far this week. Maybe I will drag myself over there after I post this... My inclination is to lay around on the couch and maybe that is what my body needs to be doing, even though I keep hearing about this walking thing and how it's supposed to hasten labor. You know what is almost the hardest part about it? Chainging my clothes. Getting into and out of pants is awkward and uncomfortable!

So. That's the news. I wish it was more exciting and included pics of a squishy pink newborn, but alas, I shall continue waddling ponderously through these last days of pregnancy (please let it be days and not weeks!).

38 weeks of pregnant glory + nursery!

Still here y'all. Still large in circumference. 38 weeks!

The house is definitely ready to accept a baby. I know I don't NEED any of this stuff, but it sure was fun to set up the nursery, and I think Mom had a good time too. Check out that adorable wall sticker we found! It's so cute!

This child already has more clothes than ME, thanks to her Yaya! Baby girl clothes are irresistible.
View of the nursery from the door.

And the other side of the room where we stashed our second guest bed, and where the Bear Family lives. Yes, I already had all of those teddy bears, none were bought specifically for the Little Elf, although she is now inheriting them! The largest in the middle was my mom's teddy bear when she was little!

Come baby Seiler, we're ready for you!

Congrats to my buddy Chris!

One of my oldest friends in the world just had his baby a few days ago! Yeah! Congrats you guys! Mom would also like to send her sincere congratulations to you and also tell you that she doesn't remember any of those shenanigans at all (ed. lie!) - only what a nice young man you were (ed. LIE!). No really. In all truth, we actually don't remember all of those things, although there was a particular incident when I was tied to a tree that sticks prominently in my mind. Also the scrunchie stealing. What was with the scrunchie stealing?? Oh, and the breaking in to our house and stealing our phone. And mom does remember the marker incident. She would like you to remember that karma is a boomerang. Thank goodness you outgrew that.

A few things, in no particular order.

* It is sad that my work computer is running such an old version of Explorer that I cannot read the New York Times. It crashes every time I pull up articles. Yes, I work for the government. The AMERICAN government.

* We had bacon and cheese sandwiches the other night and I must say they were delicious. Mmmmm, bacon.

* I will be the only person in my office next week. We shall see how THAT goes.

* My mom thinks the baby will be born on May 7.

* We are nearly done with the house and have only to hang pictures, put away the office, and find homes for an armful of random things that are floating around on the counters. Even the nursery is almost done, just need to hang pictures. I will get some pics up this weekend.

* Adam is working all weekend. He has worked the last three weekends in a row. I'm ready for him to get a day off so he can get himself settled and comfortable in the new house.

* I need to chill the eff out. I've been on high stress level for the last two weeks with the move. It's slowing down somewhat, but I'm ready to be all finished so I can resume my position on the couch eating bon-bons and getting my feet rubbed.

* I wish I could say I feel very ready to have this baby any time, but I feel like I need another week or so at least before I can relax enough to have her. In truth, I feel like I may NEVER be READY. I was reading this post by Jonniker and so much of it is so, so true for me. I haven't hated pregnancy really, and I can't say I've been miserable, but I have spent the majority of the time with a fair amount of anxiety about the whole process, about having an actual baby and whether she will be ok, about whether I'm prepared or how I will handle this major life change, about how singularly alone and responsible I feel in many ways, about the birth and whether it will go the way I want/hope, disliking more than half of the attention I have gotten (the "just wait" comments - you think you can't sleep now, you think you're uncomfortable now, you think you have problems now; the assvice from everyone, the "twins" comments), the emotional rollercoaster... and I truly hope that all dissipates for me as it did for Jonniker once the Little Elf is here in our lives. So the irony is: although I hope things are better and wonderful once she is born, I am often terrified for her to actually BE born. I want it to happen NOW, today! So I can finally MEET HER! Yet I am simultaneously terrified enough to want it to not happen (yet? soon? ever?).

* My feet? Are swollen. That is all.

37 weeks, New home!

I feel so out of the loop! I haven't been on the computer to look at blogs or my personal email in over a week! I've been going crazy trying to get all the boxes unpacked and everything settled. Y'all, my feet are really sad... they are so swollen. A few days last week being on my feet on the hard floors in the kitchen all day unpacking, I thought my feet might actually explode. It's pretty horrifying. And my hands are also so swollen that it hurts to make a fist first thing in the morning.

But our new house! Ahhhhh... I love it so much. I really, really do. We are close to being unpacked now, and even have the nursery mostly set up. I can't wait to post pictures because it's so cute. We found these wall sticker things and put some of them up and it's so bright and pretty in there. And it's AIR CONDITIONED! And only a few miles from work for both of us.

Mom is here right now and has been such a huge help with unpacking and organizing and running errands. I think she might leave this weekend, although I was asking what if you leave and I go into labor next week?! I'm full term now and pretty much ready for this baby to be on the outside. I'm in full-on waddle mode, and what with the swelling extremities now I'm pretty much over it. I still feel really good though overall, and I'm still working out in the gym even though I get lots of funny looks. I was moving boxes and furniture around the house and I thought my mom was going to have a conniption, but I'm like, what do you think I do in the gym?! :) Hey, at this point I almost don't care if I go into labor "early".

Happy Easter!

I guess I should jump in here and say something before everyone starts to think maybe I did actually go into labor! No, we're still here. Just getting ready for our move. Adam is working today so I'm on my own for Easter. Mom was supposed to come out yesterday, but we had a family situation and she needed to be there. She might be out here in a couple of days. I'm really hoping because I don't know how I'm going to get everything settled by myself! A is off Mon, Tues and Wed. They are going to pack up all our stuff on Monday and drop it off at our new house on Tuesday. Wednesday we have to do the home inspection for our old place and turn over the keys, and then Thursday he is back at work for like 14 days in a row!!! Which means I will be mainly on my own to get this house unpacked unless Mom comes out. That pretty much sums up what's going on out here. I will post 36 week belly pics later... jeez, can you believe that?! 36 weeks! Before I was worrying that the baby would stay in long enough for us to get moved. Now I'm worrying that she is going to stay in TOO LONG. Like I might be pregnant forevah. I hope she comes out before I hit 40 weeks. Another month seems like an impossibly long time.