Friday, April 16, 2010

A few things, in no particular order.

* It is sad that my work computer is running such an old version of Explorer that I cannot read the New York Times. It crashes every time I pull up articles. Yes, I work for the government. The AMERICAN government.

* We had bacon and cheese sandwiches the other night and I must say they were delicious. Mmmmm, bacon.

* I will be the only person in my office next week. We shall see how THAT goes.

* My mom thinks the baby will be born on May 7.

* We are nearly done with the house and have only to hang pictures, put away the office, and find homes for an armful of random things that are floating around on the counters. Even the nursery is almost done, just need to hang pictures. I will get some pics up this weekend.

* Adam is working all weekend. He has worked the last three weekends in a row. I'm ready for him to get a day off so he can get himself settled and comfortable in the new house.

* I need to chill the eff out. I've been on high stress level for the last two weeks with the move. It's slowing down somewhat, but I'm ready to be all finished so I can resume my position on the couch eating bon-bons and getting my feet rubbed.

* I wish I could say I feel very ready to have this baby any time, but I feel like I need another week or so at least before I can relax enough to have her. In truth, I feel like I may NEVER be READY. I was reading this post by Jonniker and so much of it is so, so true for me. I haven't hated pregnancy really, and I can't say I've been miserable, but I have spent the majority of the time with a fair amount of anxiety about the whole process, about having an actual baby and whether she will be ok, about whether I'm prepared or how I will handle this major life change, about how singularly alone and responsible I feel in many ways, about the birth and whether it will go the way I want/hope, disliking more than half of the attention I have gotten (the "just wait" comments - you think you can't sleep now, you think you're uncomfortable now, you think you have problems now; the assvice from everyone, the "twins" comments), the emotional rollercoaster... and I truly hope that all dissipates for me as it did for Jonniker once the Little Elf is here in our lives. So the irony is: although I hope things are better and wonderful once she is born, I am often terrified for her to actually BE born. I want it to happen NOW, today! So I can finally MEET HER! Yet I am simultaneously terrified enough to want it to not happen (yet? soon? ever?).

* My feet? Are swollen. That is all.

1 comment:

Lindsey Broere said... the last little "note"...I almost missed that one. are almost there! And you know what I tell myself when I start to feel anxiety about mothering my little girls...God made my girls unique and He specifically designed ME to mother I am capable (with His guidance). You guys are going to be great. You'll be so surprised how she fits right into your little family--seamlessly.

Now sit down and put those feet up!