Thursday, July 31, 2008

Defeated by Custis (or why I might actually be run over by a biker)

What IS it with the DC metro area bikers? I sometimes jog in the mornings on trails that just happen to feed into the district, and without fail I am always nearly killed by a biker who is trying to run me over. Seriously, all you bikers out there SUCK. The majority lot of you have your heads just SO FAR up your asses, it's incredible. Especially you, guy who rides south on the W&OD around 6 am who yells at joggers. Who do you think you are?! If I could run fast enough, I would run right up on your ass and push you off your stinking bike and then I would stand over you dinging your bike-bell and yelling, "Can't see you in RED, can't see you in RED!!" Dude. Take your reflective belt and shove it.

This morning one whizzed past so close and fast that his "on your left" came just as he was actually literally ON my left - I nearly had a heart attack. Possibly I am just grumpy in the early morning, or possibly I'm lashing out in anger at a microcosm of the entire DC vibe that I detest - the Rat Race (which if you understand that term, you live here). My near-death experience compounded the general suckiness that was this morning's ATTEMPT at a run - I headed out on the Custis, west if you must know, which usually alleviates the problem of having to duck for your life from the bikers since they are mostly headed east towards DC unless they are passing an also east-bound jogger at the same time as you and therefore aim for you HEAD ON instead of trying to sideswipe you...

What was I saying? Oh yes. My run. It sucked. Or rather, I sucked at it. It went really, astoundingly poorly. I couldn't identify which variable was responsible - the near 90% humidity, my cotton (read: death-fabric) ensemble, poor sleep or nutrition - or maybe it was a perfect storm of converging inconveniences. I was extremely nauseated and had to keep stopping to walk. I managed to run about 3 out of the 4 mile loop, the whole time feeling like I was on the verge of puking my guts out. It wasn't a problem of cardiovascular fitness (my lungs felt fine). I'll just chalk it up to a bad day and move on, although I do need to slate at least one long-ish run each week in order to keep my endurance up. Something inside me needs to be able to go out and run 5 miles easily. I don't need to do it all the time, but I need to be able to.

I'm a nutter.

So I'm putting that on my short list of near-term fitness goals. After a week of complete and total slacking on my part since the Turbulence Training contest ended last Wednesday, I have let things go all to pot. So. As of today, as of this morning's revelation of SUCK, I am publicly recommitting to my goals! You heard it right here on Alchemy folks. Here they are, my goals for the next month - a trio of 5's:

"The Triple Nickle"

1. Lose 5 more lbs. By Sept. 1 I will weigh 135#.

2. Do 5 chin ups. By Sept. 1 I will complete 5 real chin ups.

3. Run 5 miles. By Sept. 1 I will be able to easily run 5 miles on the trails again.

Feel free to publicly scorn me if I am slipping again.

Doidle - HI!!! I'm actually an Air Force brat - we lived all over kindom come - Germany (3 times), Las Vegas, Kansas, Alabama (SUCK), DC, Turkey, Italy! I graduated high school in Turkey in a class of ELEVEN. High five for DoDDS brats! :D


Lindsey said...

dehydration...I bet...with the humidity and the cotton--that's a lethal combination.

I'm with you on the bikers...I actually had a conversation with someone today about runners vs. bikers...very interesting.

adam said...

well, babe ... i'm sorry to hear you had such a tough run. it'll get better. and if it makes you feel any better, i don't know anyone who can channel their frustrations into creative, entertaining prose quite like you!

"Post-Google" by TAR ART RAT said...

in Berlin there are actually bike lanes in the streets... which helps a lot- but in the states it always seems like there is a foodchain: cars eat bikes & people, bikes eat people and growl at cars, cars... well, cars ultimately rule.