Sunday, July 06, 2008

What's Scarier than Dexter?

So, my hairdresser moved to Texas. Total bummer! I called in to the salon and asked for an appointment with "someone good." Did that sound to lackadaisical? Or perhaps it sounded too pretentious and the receptionist decided I needed to be smited (smote?). Whatever, you get the point. I'll let you, my dear readers, decide for yourselves THAT YOU AGREE WITH ME THAT THE RECEPTIONIST MUST BE ON CRACK.

I got in the chair and the relatively normal-looking Asian woman started pawing through my hair. She spoke with a heavy accent - that's no problem ... if you know what you're doing (ahem). She pulls out this salon notepad form thing with questions printed on it and starts walking through it and writing down what I say - just a trim, follow the existing cut, long layers... no brainer, right?! I was immediately freaked the heck out. I mean, if she needs to be prompted about what to ask me and has to write down what I want, she's obviously not "someone good" - more like NOVICE. And, really, does anyone want a novice cutting their hair?! I mean, once I went to the Aveda Institute and let a student cut my hair for about $15, but I knew what I was getting myself into and that I was taking a risk to get a deal.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??

Part of me wanted to say, "sorry I don't want you to cut my hair," and leave!! But I couldn't, I just didn't have the heart! She was clearly giving it her best. I bit my lip.

She washed my hair. Splashed water all over my face.

Back in the chair - she put product in my hair BEFORE starting to cut it!

She combed it out, grabbed her scissors and audibly made a nervous sigh!

Here's what I was thinking the whole time I was sitting there: OMIGOD-OMIGOD-WTF- OMIGOD- OMIGOD-what's she doing now?- OMIGOD-OMIGOD- oh my gawd, I can't believe this - OMIGOD-OMIGOD-OMIGOD- wonder what this is going to look like - OMIGOD- WTF-OMIGOD.

Then I got perhaps the worst blow out EVER. Bless her heart. I felt so bad, I was just like fuuuuck. The cut doesn't seem too terrible, luckily my hair is just long layers so it's pretty forgiving. It doesn't look like a 6 year old got into it with the Mickey Mouse scissors or anything. It's just not a *good* cut. Must find alternative solution to hair problem NOW!

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In other news, I think I have yeast overgrowth. I read Gut Flush by Ann Louise Gittleman.

***MEN, BE FORWARNED!! WIMMIN'S TALK COMING, IT MAY BE TMI***

I am thinking this because I am having recurrent yeast infections, plus multiple GI issues including bloating and gas and reactions to certain foods. I have sugar cravings, but when I eat sugar, I feel awful afterwards. Plus I have a rash on my stomach and under my sports bra, between the girls. When I started reading the section in the book on yeast, I answered yes to almost all of the questions in the quiz she provides:

1) have you taken repeated or prolonged courses of antibiotics? (YES)
2) have you been bothered by recurrent yeast infections? (YES)
3) do you feel "sick all over" with no apparent cause? (NO)
4) are you bothered by hormone disturbances (YES), PMS (YES), menstrual irregularities (YES), sexual dysfunction (NO), sugar cravings (YES), low body temp (NO), fatigue (YES)
5) are you unusually sensitive to tobacco smoke, perfumes, colognes and chemical odors (YES!)
6) are you bothered by memory or concentration problems (YES)
7) have you taken birth control pills for more than 3 years (YES)
8) do some foods disagree with you or trigger your symptoms (YES)
9) do you suffer with constipation (NO), diarrhea (NO), bloating (YES) or abdominal pain (NO)
10) do you have skin problems - itching, dryness, rash (YES)

So the protocol for the first week is:

- no sweets/molds/starches (no fruit or fruit juice)
- consume probiotic foods 1 per day (saurkraut, miso, kefir, yogurt) AND prebiotic foods 2 per day (onion, garlic, oregano, leeks, jicama)
- consume 2 servings soluble fiber per day (veggies, ground flax seeds)
- 1 tablespoon each fish and flax oil
- water and dandelion root tea (lots)

and take the healing supplements:
- Y C Cleanse (yeast homeopathic remedy)
- flora key (probiotic)
- HCL and digestive enzymes
- additional probiotics

I will keep you all posted once I get everything in the mail!

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BTW, did everyone see that Dara Torres, a 40 year old mom, set a record in the 50 yd freestyle swim event and is going to the Olympics?! Holy Cow! I hope I am that fit and healthy when I'm 40! That's the goal anyway!

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I'll leave you with cutie pies Adam and "little" Garret - haha! Such adorable boys :)

3 comments:

Lindsey said...

Holy yeast infection! Are you taking acidolphilus too? You have been on a crazy roller coaster of diets over the past couple of years, huh?

Spirophita said...

Cuties!!!

Hang in there on the yeast infections. Also drastically increasing your acidic foods can help. :)

Sara said...

Muahahahaha! Oh, your hair adventure made my stomach turn. I...I probably would've done the same thing. Are you going to switch to a new salon altogether next time?

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