Vision Board!

I just finished my vision board! Now I have to figure out what to do with it. Adam was making fun of me because I have so many vegetables on there :D

Also a picture of my hair.

Didn't I tell you???

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted last! I swear I feel like I was here writing blog posts a couple of times at least since last Sunday! Like that day when I got to the metro at Foggy Bottom and had to stand in a line that went about half a block down the street JUST TO GET ON THE ESCALATOR. I was hopping mad. They only had ONE escalator open where people had to go both up and down. At RUSH HOUR! There seemed to be nothing wrong with the other one, save for the fact they blocked it off. But people could still have gone up and down it. Oh. Yeah. That happened TWICE last week. Thought I wrote about that one cause I was writing the blog post in my head as I was standing there in line for 20 minutes. It went something like this: fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK! Fuuuuuu.u.u.u.u.ck. Prolly why I didn't actually log on to write it down - looks kind of uninspired now that I've typed it out.

And I thought I told you guys about having to be the Duty Officer at work?! Carrying around everywhere a 12 lb binder of phone numbers and procedures and a 3 lb cell phone that didn't ring once the whole time I had it, except when 1984 called to say they wanted their cell phone back. I even carried that damn thing in the grocery store with me because god forbid the Russians start invading the free world again or something.... oh, wait, that actually happened, but nobody called me about it while I was on duty thankfully.

And the dentist?! Didn't I tell you about THAT even?? About how much I hate the facking water pick thingie they use because it SPRAYS WATER ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND NECK AND IN YOUR EYES. I kept stopping her because I had water gushing out of my mouth and down my neck and after about ten minutes of it, I had about 5,000 paper towels stuffed around my head and she even got out this plastic bib thing that they probably put on the little kids and finally - thank god - she gave up. About halfway through my bottom teeth she reverted to the metal scraper which I much prefer. The water thing about sends me through the roof my teeth are so sensitive. Oh, and I need to reduce the stress in my life too apparently, because I grind my teeth HARD.

Oh, also my hair!! My hair I cut it all off! It's about at my shoulders now and I LOVE it. I should have done this years ago. Really it looks so much better, it was looking like a 12 year old with a ponytail every day. Talk to me again tomorrow after I have to style it myself though. So, when I got to the salon, I was waiting and finally this cute woman comes over and leads me through the salon into this room where there's a table covered in paper and she's like, "what are we doing today, just bikini?" I'm like, you must be confused, I'm here for a HAIRCUT. lol. Like a bad dream. Show up for a haircut and instead you get the hair yanked out of your delicate bits. Which I admit intrigues me, getting a brazilian, but I'm too chicken to ever try. My skin is so sensitive, I can't understand how people don't get razor rash all over their hoo-hoo's?! Especially in sweaty gym clothes, riding the bike for example?! And what about when it grows back in - DOESN'T THAT HURT? The thought of it is too horrifying to even imagine.....

Thoughts and a smoothie recipe

My head has been spinning the last few days from talking trough all the details of a move to Hawaii with Adam. We are talking marriage (gasp! fast?), engagement, planning a wedding (where, when and how?), moving my stuff (will the Navy do it?), storing my stuff, buying an "island car", selling MY car... or not?... buying a house (!!), or renting (where?), etc, etc, etc. !!! It's a LOT of stuff to think about and process and digest and a LOT of decisions to be made! I'm really excited and that is not something I feel very often.

I was really lazy yesterday and got absolutely nothing done. I talked to my Mom for ever in the morning, messed around on the internet (black hole of time) and then changed into my gym clothes, lay down on the couch and fell asleep. Then I started watching Oprah on my DVR and then Adam called and we talked for ever.

Then of course I couldn't sleep because I barely moved all day long. So I'm about to get going now and get my errands and other stuff done!

I've decided to take a week off of training. I almost never take a planned break, but balance is something I've been working hard on this year and it's definitely time. I'm planning on entering the next Turbulence Training contest next Sunday, which will be another 84 days of focus and hitting it hard, so it will be good to rest before that happens!

I'm finally getting to where I can make consistently smooth and creamy smoothies. My favorite combination is:

1 scoop whey (I use plain flavored, but any flavor works really)
1/2 c frozen raspberries
1/2 peach, cut up
2 oz unsweetened cranberry juice
1 Tablespoon berry Greens+
1 tsp flaxseed oil
4-6 ice cubes
maybe 1/2 cup water - you don't want too much or it's runny. use less than you think you need.

Blend it up for a minute or two. It turns out thick like a milkshake if you do it right!

Jobs and Workouts

No news yet on the Hawaii front. I'm still waiting on a formal job offer, but I've been in touch with their HR, so I'm pretty sure the bureaucratic molasses is flowing on it. It's looking like Adam is going to try to get a follow-on assignment there in Hawaii, so we would likely be there for 4-5 years. I'm still nervous about it, but excited too. I still haven't discussed any of this with my current boss. Waiting on the formal job offer first. I know they are going to be really disppointed when I announce my intention to leave.

It's not like this is a great career move for me. I'm doing it more for personal reasons - to be with Adam, to get out of DC, to get some military experience so I will be more marketable for jobs in Colorado Springs, which is where we want to settle after Hawaii.

Anyway! I'm still spending too much time with the Olympics and oversleeping in the mornings! I ended up at the gym TWICE this week after work and my god it sucked. Soooo crowded and hot!

I ran yesterday - 5 miles out and back. I was lapped by a pregnant lady, but that is completely besides the point! I felt really good and strong. So I can cross that goal off my list. I'm up to 4 chin ups now, I think I could probably squeeze one more out. I'll try that this weekend. As for the last bit - losing 5 more lbs, well..... probably ain't gonna happen. I just haven't been creating a caloric deficit, I've been eating like I'm interested in maintaining my weight (or even GAINING weight, on a few occasions!) I likely needed to chill on the cutting for a spell anyway. No matter, it's all behind me now. There is another TT contest starting August 31, which I will be joining! It was really motivating for me last time, so I think it will help me achieve my goals again.

A little push??

Well, I haven't received a formal job offer yet, but they told me I was selected for the position!!! I still don't know for sure what the right thing is to do, but I read in Oprah magazine recently that when in doubt you should go towards LOVE and not away from FEAR. Adam is in Hawaii (love), the beach and scenery are beautiful (love), the environment is more relaxed (love) and even though it scares the shit out of me, staying here in DC would mean going away from fear. Plus, like C said, let God pick, and it seems like if this door is opening, it's God's way of saying come on in. I suppose everything else will fall into place along the way. I just have to trust that it will!

I also read a NYT article recently about what really makes people happy. It said that people don't really know what makes them happy - people THINK that keeping their options open will make them happy, but in reality, studies show that people are happier when they commit to a decision early on and aren't able to change it. It probably has to do with the options causing us to second guess ourselves, leading to dissatisfaction, whereas if we commit, our brains seek to reduce cognitive dissonance, aligning internal thoughts (the decision) with the external environment.

That being said, making the decision to take the job in Hawaii closes some doors, but it makes other decision more obvious.

For instance, it will mean that Adam will probably take another Navy assignment in Hawaii and we will likely live there for at least 3-5 years. And it will mean that he will probably get out of the military after that, because otherwise he will be up for sea duty deployment (either on a ship or in the desert).

On another note, the Olympics is really taking it out of me! I keep staying up too late and oversleeping my alarm! This morning I didn't even remember waking up to turn it off, I just woke up at 6:40, too late to go to the gym :( which makes me super sad because working out in the evening with the 5:00 crowd? Ugh. I did that on Monday and hated every minute of it. Too crowded, too many people being retarded, too many marshmallow men, too many dudes staring at you, to many barbies. I felt like I was back in middle school where I never fit in with the cool kids, I was just awkward and tried to not get noticed!

Tangled Web of Options

I'm really feeling at peace about the whole Hawaii job thing, not nervous or sleepless at all. Whatever happens, I am fine with. I will not be crushed if I don't get the job. I'm actually feeling even a bit MORE apprehensive about getting offered it because obviously that would mean decisions have to be made and if I decide to take the job, LOTS of change. For someone who moved around all her life and was a self-proclaimed nomad, I have become startlingly averse to changes to the status quo. Perhaps that is part and parcel of growing older? We nest and become more set in our ways? I'm more of a home body too than I ever imagined myself being. I feel like I'm standing near a crossroads in my life. It's not a clear intersection, though, with one way or the other to choose. There are SO MANY different outcomes that could play out in the next couple of years.

I could stay here in DC and Adam could move back here after his HI assignment. I'll ride out the election and continue to advance my career in federal service.

I could take the Hawaii job and move out there, taking a HUGE career risk.

If I take the HI job, when Adam's assignment is up next year, he could take another assignment in HI and we could stay there for several more years. But that risks he will get shipped off to Iraq or Afghanistan (for despite what the Obama camp says, folks, we will still have people in Iraq for probably like ever). And we don't want to be separated for another year. The risk is small since he's in a deployed command right now, but it's still there.

OR.... Adam could get out of the Navy and get a civilian job in HI and we could stay there for a few more years. Good for my career, possibly good for his if he gets a good job. Hard on the finances when we have to eventually move ourselves back to the mainland.

OR... Adam could take another Navy assignment to Colorado, where we ultimately want to end up. Benefits are that the military would move us and he'd have a job there and be able to easily get set up. Problem is, it would likely mean me quitting work to move out there and start job hunting, possibly finding sub-par job or none at all. HOWEVER, that problem could turn into a blessing or opportunity if it forced me to re-evaluate and possibly start a new career path, or even just stay at home to start a family.

OR... Adam could get out of the military and move to Colorado, in which case, neither, either or both of us might be employed. That's likely the biggest risk for both of us career wise.

So you see!!! It's a messy jumble of possibilities and possible opportunities. What to do, what to do...

I'm here, I'm here!

Fear not, I did not fall and break both of my hands!! No, I was in Tampa last weekend with my mom and my aunt at my grandma's place, then this whole week I've been completely and totally consumed by the OLYMPICS. I'm addicted. I spend all my free time watching it! Michael Phelps is fucking awesome, he's so fast and obviously the gymnastics, and the volleyball and the weightlifting, and it's just awesome. Reminds me of that line in Vision Quest (waves at Visionquester) where the guy says when he sees an athlete do something great, it makes all of humanity better - I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea?

Also? Big news I'm afraid to write about cause I don't want to jinx it, but that job in Hawaii I was going after finally, FINALLY got to the hiring phase and I'm on their short list! They called me this week and there is a better than average chance they will offer me a job!!! Which... holy shit! Y'all, I didn't really think through this part, like what if I actually got offered the job, would I take it, etc.... I mean there are so many factors going into the decision it makes my head spin!

Adam and I have talked about it a LOT and I'm confident that the right thing is going to happen. I'm pretty sure that if I get offered the opportunity, I will take it. Carpe Diem, right? And if I don't, then it wasn't meant to be. I should know soon, so stay tuned!!

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot

So, I've been feeling bad about myself for not sticking to my reduced calorie diet the last couple of weeks. I've felt like a weakling for giving in to my ravenous appetite and eating enough to maintain my weight, when my goal is to lose another 5 lbs by the end of this month. I thought, well, I am exercising more, and I did just diet for 12 weeks, so maybe my body needs a break? Then there is my insomnia, which is back with a vengence, so I thought maybe it is the lack of sleep combined with stress causing me to eat more.

But Hell's Bells - I was just reading about progesterone this morning on the webz (my doctor has me on it to try to stimulate my cycle to start again) and come to find out it increases appetite! GAHHHHH! I'm trying to diet and I'm taking a hormone that makes you want to eat. Great. Progesterone is the pregnancy hormone that stimulates ovulation and gets the uterus all ready to house a baby. Pro- (for) Gest (gestation) - erone (hormone) - the hormone helping with gestation. Gah? Well, I have five more days before I stop taking it....... at least it's good to know that I'm not just a weakling! I'm working at cross purposes here.

Also good to know that progesterone can cause insomnia and headaches, which explains the headaches I've been having the last few days and my inability to fall asleep. I've been lying in bed each night thinking loudly WHY CAN'T I FALL ASLEEP. Hm.

Another interesting thing? Candida overgrowth is related to all of this hormonal imbalance. So it all kind of makes sense and fits into a big messy picture. The candida cleanse seems to be going pretty well. I've started to add back in fruit and some other things like balsamic vinegar that I was avoiding.

In other news, I can now do 3 chin ups and I ran 4 miles without too much difficulty on Tuesday. So at least two of my 5-5-5 goals are coming along!

Sure, China is ready for the Olympics and the resulting influx of English speaking tourists...

This came in my inbox and I had to share....

Which is one step up from just lovely..

But taste like cat

Here, crippie, take my seat.

Great with flied lice

A seperate entrance for Hos....why didn't I think of that?

Sounds better than canned water doesn't it?

Good to know

Not nice. Some of my best friends are liquor heads.

Look up and down the aisle twice before proceeding...

Much tastier than the grown up variety..

It would be once you start chewing on it

Starbucks should be very afraid!

I wouldn't tickle this one

Weird, because horsebeans sound delicious.

Where every fashion aficionado in China shops!!!

I knew it!!

What?

If there's one thing we don't need help with...

'See you after the flight, Uncle Randy!'

Should be in front of half the hotels in town.

So this is where they all end up…

Hahahaha!

Adventures with Spaghetti Squash

After my workout this morning (upper body plus some stepper intervals), I walked over to the grocery store to get a few things they didn't have at Whole Foods yesterday. I have been meaning to try spaghetti squash for ages, but it just always seemed like too much work to buy the huge honking thing, get it home and cook it. Really, I don't know why I was building it up into such a production. It was easy! The hardest part was cutting it in half - it took a good 10 minutes of wrangling to saw into it. All you do is cut it in half and scrape out the seeds, like so:


You can clean and roast the seeds if you are so inclined. I chucked mine in the can. Next you place the two halves face down in a baking dish and pop it in the oven at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

When you pull it out of the oven, go ahead and scrape out the insides with a fork. The "meat" comes out easily in long strips that resemble angle hair pasta. It has kind of a sweet taste.

I made mine sweet with some stevia and cinnamon and crushed walnuts, but I can think of a hundred things to do with it! It would be yummy with a stir fry over top, for example.

At only 40 calories for a cup, with Vitamin A, C, calcium, Iron, Fiber - it's a filling and yummy treat!

Six Random Facts

I got tagged by Spirophita to give six random facts about myself.

1. I used to smoke cigarettes. I know, right? So GROSS. I disgust myself. It's one of the stupidest things I've ever done, right behind streaking through a field, and getting completely wasted and staying up the entire night BEFORE going to Oktoberfest. There may even be photographic evidence of my public nudity, which is why you will never see me run for public office. I've done plenty of other stupid things - those are just the first that come to mind. I try to suppress most of it in my subconscious so I don't dwell on my previous idiocy. As for the cigarettes, quitting them was also the hardest thing I've ever done. I had nightmares about smoking for YEARS. I basically had to leave my group of friends because of peer pressure. How crazy is THAT?! I also just couldn't stand to be around it any more. To this day I cannot tolerate cigarette smoke. When I'm walking down the street, if someone is smoking, I hold my breath and will even run a few steps to get around them sometimes.

2. I went to high school in Turkey. My dad was a pilot in the Air Force and we were stationed at the NATO installation in Izmir, Turkey (on the western coast) while I was in high school, and then in Ankara (near the Syrian border) while my sister was in high school. Our Department of Defense school district, Turkey-Spain-Islands, spanned a distance greater than the continental U.S., from Turkey in the East all the way out to Azores, Portugal, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. (See the left of the map where it says Azores, 2000 km?)

Our high school in Izmir was in an old five story tobacco warehouse. There was no military base there, all the American facilities were just scattered around the downtown area. Of course, you could tell which ones they were because of all the armed guards and bomb barricades. I had to show an I.D. card to a guard with an automatic rifle to get into high school in the morning! The school was pretty small, and because it was a NATO base, there were kids attending from all different countries - Germans, Turkish, Italians, Iranians. I played three sports during the school year - volleyball, basketball and tennis. We would travel to the other schools in our district once each season for a big tournament. We played volleyball in Rota, Spain, had drama competitions in the Azores, and basketball in Bahrain. The Bahraini girls' basketball team played in headscarves, with long pants and long sleeves! They kicked our asses.

3. I've been proposed to before. And said no. It was the other hardest thing I've ever done. I loved the boy very much. But two paths diverged, you know? I had gotten into grad school in Texas and he was getting stationed (unaccompanied) to Korea. There were other reasons too, of course. I had already decided to break up with him when he bought the ring. I had no idea he was planning to ask me to marry him. I love Adam very much and I know I made the right decision, but sometimes still I wonder what if...

4. I have a degree in psychology. I have no clue what I thought I would do with it, I just found the classes interesting. I worked as a research assistant in evolutionary psychology for a prof studying human mating. I pretty much knew I didn't want to do a PhD at that point. The other jobs that are obvious fits for psych majors are psych nurses and counseling work. I thought maybe I would like that, so my senior year I interviewed to work in a home for people with mental disturbances who didn't need to be hospitalized, but couldn't live on their own. When I knocked on the door of the house, one of Them answered the door, looking for all the world like a crazy person with long straggly hair and a mismatched outfit. She peered at me suspiciously and said loudly in a southern accent, "Who're YOU." I wanted to turn heel and run. It was all I could do to make it through that interview. I decided at that point I didn't want to work in psych. I took a foreign policy class my last semester of school and fell in love with it, which eventually led me to a Master's program in national security and into my current profession as a foreign affairs officer at the State Department.

5. I used to sell cosmetics in the mall. I was one of the Clinique girls in the white lab coats. I would never want to work retail again, as one thing I learned from that job is that I suck at selling people things (and I hated working for Dillard's -- oddly, I just remembered that Amanda Dillard actually worked in our store), but it was a really great experience. It put me totally outside my realm, if you will. Although I'm a princess, I'm not a prima donna. I'm not a very girly girl. So working with a bunch of "popular" type girls was really fun and interesting. And it was way better than folding panties at the Victoria's Secret, which is where I worked before landing the Clinique job. At VS I was a "bra specialist." I know, sounds important, right? You see a lot of ... interesting things working at Vicky's - men who wander in nervous and clueless about the difference between a teddy and a babydoll, pre-teen girls embarassed to be getting fit for their first bra, and many, many women who like to show their bodies off, especially if they just had a boob job. I'm just sayin'.

6. Once I was a piece of Bubbalicious bubble gum for Halloween. I'm not even kidding. This is how silly I was. I was really excited about it because I made my own costume out of a cardboard box I painted pink and stenciled blue letters on. I couldn't walk upstairs and I didn't fit in the car and I could barely reach around to hold my candy bag. We still laugh about it because I could hardly walk in that thing. It was ridiculous.

There you go! I tag Lindsey, Bisous, Abby and April.

My Sailor Boy

Hello?! How could I not fall in love with him?!