I can't believe it's December again.

Busy week! I hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving and enjoyed your friends, family and food! Adam and I went over to Hickam Officer's Club where they were serving a Thanksgiving dinner buffet on the terrace by the water. It was a beautiful day and yummy food. We stuffed ourselves and then came home to research Black Friday sales we wanted to hit.

I can't believe it's been a year since my folks were out for Thanksgiving last year. At that time, I had barely started my new job, we had just moved into this house, we weren't married yet and I was wearing a size 6. While it kind of feels like I didn't accomplish much this year, since I did spend large parts of it doing little more than working and watching tv, it's actually been a year full of just about every early adulthood milestone you could cram in. I moved across the globe, quit one job and started a new one, planned a wedding and honeymoon, got married, went on that honeymoon, and got pregnant. That's a lot.

One of the big milestones was shopping for furniture last year with Adam on Black Friday. We bought a U-haul worth of furniture and other stuff for the house and got great deals at all the sales. This year we were hoping to have the same luck buying baby stuff. We got up at 5 to head out, but we were disappointed to find that nothing was really on sale. We did buy a Pack n' Play - our first baby purchase! We also got a digital camcorder and I got a new computer since mine is on the fritz. Other than that, we just shopped around comparing prices and merchandise.

Yesterday we went to see Hawaii play Navy at the Aloha Stadium. Navy played a pathetic game and completely got spanked by Hawaii, and Hawaii doesn't even have a great record! We met up with Adam's squadron to tailgate before the game. One of the girls is pregnant and she was HUGE for being only 6 months. She said they are already talking about inducing her because her baby is growing so fast. Her ankles were so swollen they looked like balloons. I was horrified! I am really scared that is going to happen to me! I am nowhere near as big as her, but I still have 6 weeks to go till I'm as far along and who knows what will happen between now and then.

My belly is definitely growing. I'm enjoying feeling the baby kicking all the time now! Adam hasn't been able to feel it yet, but I think it's only a matter of him having his hand on my belly when the baby kicks, which is hard to time. I'm feeling much better too. I still have bouts of nausea or exhaustion or headaches now and then, but most of the time I'm feeling pretty good. Yay second trimester. Even my cravings have calmed down and I'm eating salads and meat again. However, I still worry about my weight gain!

We are packing to go to Korea, which is a pain because we have to drag all of our winter gear out of the boxes in the closets. I've gained enough weight since we moved here and with the baby that my winter coat really doesn't fit me anymore. I mean, I can put it on, but it's tight across the shoulders and barely buttons in the front across my boobs and belly. Trying on my sweaters was depressing. Some of those were so baggy on me just last year that I hardly ever wore them and now they just fit! Uuuuughhhhh!

In fact, I think I am going to wear one of Adam's coats since I still have a week to go before we leave and we'll be there for a week - I'm guessing MY coat would be pretty tight by that point. And I'm such a baby about the cold that I can't risk not having a warm enough coat. I can't believe we are going to Korea. I can't believe it's December again. I can't believe my coat and half my sweaters don't fit anymore! I'm just looking ahead to what changes next year will bring....

I love this guy.

I am so glad to have this goofy guy home. I went to the hangar to pick him up on Friday and we got to spend the whole weekend relaxing and getting settled in again.

He brought back a box from Afghanistan, but it wasn't presents for me. No. It was protein powder. He brought another case of (free) protein powder home with him.

He has brought home cases of protein powder before. It makes him really happy. Just look at his face! It's something of a sickness for him, needing all this protein powder around.

I am so glad he's home. What could be better than the sight of this in the kitchen when I come downstairs every morning?!

17 Weeks. And I still do not look justifiably pregnant, despite the growing size of that belly!

More evidence that Obamacare is a terrible idea

Dr. Paul Hsieh: Mafia-style health insurance: An offer you can't refuse

By: Dr. Paul Hsieh OpEd Contributor
November 16, 2009
washingtonexaminer.com

Suppose the mafia came to your town and forced everyone to purchase all their meals at mob-approved restaurants. The mafia would also select the menu items.

If you liked broccoli but their vegetable choice was spinach, then tough luck. Everyone would also have to purchase dessert, whether they wanted it or not. And if some customers couldn't afford the high-priced meals, the mafia would force you to "contribute" to cover their bills.

Most Americans would be outraged at such violations of their basic rights. But this is precisely what the president and Congress want to do with health insurance.

Read the rest right here. (It's very interesting as it discusses the state of health care in Massachusettes, where residents are required to purchase health insurance... *hint* - the plan is failing miserably, costs are skyrocketing, and it's becoming harder to get care, not easier.)

Bad and Good

Work has been... god, it's been awful the last few days. Like a big pterodactyl flew overhead and poo'd directly on me. That's all I really want to say about that.

The good news is that Adam is coming home today! YAY. I'm going to pick him up at 4 from the hangar. I can't wait! Poor guy has been traveling since MONDAY! I can't imagine. I would die. Like literally, just fall down dead.

I'm definitely feeling the baby move every day now. Not all the time, but every so often during the day. I've really had some growing pains in my stomach this week too! I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or girl so I can start buying twee little clothes!

Anyone else going to see New Moon this weekend?! I'm excited. I will probably drag Adam to see it with me. He actually liked the first movie - afterwards he was like I want to be one of those vampires :) haha ME TOO.

Can I just complain for a minute?

There is someone in my life right now who I have to interact with on a daily basis who I just hate. Man, oh man, do I hate this person. In fact, I don't think I have ever felt this strongly a negative emotion towards another person. I can't remember ever really HATING someone in the past. But I hate this person.

And really I want to let go of this feeling because it eats me up inside. Sometimes I am just seething for hours about it. But I don't know how. I don't know how to not hate this person, unless I avoid them entirely which is impossible. I have plenty of good reasons which I'm sure you would all agree warrant my emotions. And yet, I also feel bad that I feel that way.

Have you ever hated a person? What did you do?

Guess I'm not getting fat for nothin'.

The baby's still in there, heartrate is 150 bpm, and my uterus is almost all the way up to my bellybutton (holy cow). Our next appointment is Dec 15 to find out if it's a boy or girl!

Work is driving me freaking nuts.

That is all.

Four month appointment tomorrow!

I'm stuck at work waiting for the General to come back so we can meet with him. I really want to get out of here since I have to be in here at 5:30 tomorrow morning ugh.

Tomorrow is my four month appointment! I'm so excited to hear the baby's heartbeat again. And also worried that everything is ok. All I have to say is there better be a baby kicking away in there or I am getting fat for nothing. Ha. No ultrasounds this time, just the doppler.

And another pap smear (TMI). Because who doesn't want to get their hoohoo cranked open by a stranger twice in one month what the hell?! No seriously, it's because last time I went in they "didn't get enough cells" on the culture.

I really think I felt the baby move a couple of times yesterday and today! Last night I was laying in bed and I felt all this thumping around right by my bladder. Honestly it felt sort of like gas bubbles, but also not, and it kept happening in the same spot. And then I felt all this pressure off on one side, like the baby was all squished up in a corner. Wheee! Then I felt another thump today. I don't know if it was really the baby or not, but it was like nothing I've ever felt before. Like a muscle twitch, kind of, on the inside.

Gah, work. GAHGAHGAH.

In which I actually say something nice about Hawaii. Also? My belleh, let me show it to you.

Adam called yesterday to tell me that the plane that is supposed to bring him home is broken! Oh noes! They are *supposed* to be home on Friday now, instead of Thursday. I will believe it when he is here. I'm ready for him to come home! I need my feet rubbed. And that cockroach is still on the living room carpet. Haha, no, just kidding (though I did consider it).

The other day I was on my way home from work and I saw a rainbow. It was the third one I saw that day! And I thought, you know, there are some really great things about living here. I should blog about that so that everyone doesn't think I'm just a complaining uptight bitch who will never be happy. Of course, just then I hit a traffic jam and I was like, oh, right. This. And suddenly I couldn't remember any more reasons I like living here.

There is a traffic jam about once a month on my route home - not normal traffic, but some random jam because Hawaii accident responders can't seem to keep traffic moving while taking care of business. They will just up and close the entire road if they feel like it and you have to turn around and find another way home. On that particular day, it was because the overzealous foliage on the mountainside by the road spit up an errant tree which was blocking one entire lane of traffic. A tree! Just fell off the hillside into the road.

Anyway, here is the list:

- I see rainbows pretty much every single day.

- I see the ocean every single day.

- I have a view of the ocean from my office window.

- I see the beautiful mountains every day.

- Flowers bloom year round.

- My job is not hard, and it's not stressful most of the time.

- I have time to work out in the middle of my workday.

- I can usually leave the office by 4:00 - earlier if it's an aloha Friday.

That's all I came up with before I started seething with irritation.

16 weeks
I feel laughably HUGE, considering how much bigger I am going to get.

WEIRD!!!

I got the shot.

I got my swine flu shot yesterday. There were 5 other pregnant ladies there getting one too. The doc said they only have about 10 doses left so it's a good thing I went yesterday instead of waiting like I usually do. There is nothing I will not procrastinate about. I'm procrastinating right now. If I get up in the next 10 minutes, I can make it to the gym before it closes. I sat on my butt all day long, so I really should. And yet, I blog.

They gave me the regular shot too, in the other arm. The swine flu one didn't hurt at all. The regular one hurt and my arm got really sore a couple hours later and has not stop bothering me! It kept waking me up all night long whenever I would roll over onto it. Bah. Normally I never get a flu shot and I never get the flu. I would not get one this year either except for being preggers and the pigflu situation. Now I feel all smug and responsible.

It feels like the weekend, even though I only worked 2 days so far. Ah the perks of working a federal job - you get all the federal holidays off. It's been a wonderful, cool, breezy, alternately rainy/sunny day. It is 4:30 and I am still in my pajamas. I am sad I have to go back to work tomorrow. That is all the news that's fit to print.

Adam, you need to come home right this very minute, mister!

GAHHHH! I cannot be expected to handle all these domestic responsibilities all by myself! I'm not superwoman! Yesterday I had to take out the trash! All the way to the dumpster! This morning? I ran out of sports bras and now I have to do LAUUUUNNNNDRY!

And worst of all!

Today when I got home, I found THIS waiting for me cheerfully on the carpet:

I cannot be expected to touch that thing, even through 52,769 layers of toilet paper. No. I will not. But it can't just STAY THERE!!! For like 10 more days what am I going to DOOOOOO!!! So you need to COME THE HELL HOME! Now!

Ewwwwwwwww. Ew. No seriously ew.

I suppose I should be happy that it helpfully keeled over all on its very own without me having to jump up on the couch and spray Raid all over the living room.

COME HOME!!!!

+++++++++++++

So. Let's talk about the pig flu. I'm a'skeered y'all. People all around are dropping like flies and every door handle and elevator button looks like a petri dish crawling with germs to me and OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIEEEEEE!!!! I happened to hear on the radio on Friday an announcement that the vaccine is available in Hawaii now, so I decided to call today and find out how to get me some. But it's too LATE!

No sooner had I hung up the phone when my boss came in and said he would be out tomorrow because his daughter has the flu and he is going to take her to the doctor. AND? One of the Generals went home at lunchtime with flu symptoms! This was right after he held a Directorate-wide meeting this morning that pretty much EVERYONE attended! So the flu has landed at PACOM, and it's probably too late for me to get vaccinated, because as I discovered, it takes like 2 weeks to become immune once you get the damn shot.

I can do nothing but wring my hands and pray that I will not be felled in my delicate status.

++++++++++++++++++

All this swine flu hyperventilating actually led to a conversation with my coworker about poop. Hehe POOP.

He told me he was in that meeting and probably got exposed to the pig flu and I was like, but you washed your hands, right, since then? And he gave me a "look" and I was like, WHAT? YOU DID NOT WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER GOING TO THE BATHROOM??? And he told me he had not been to the bathroom all day, since he left home in fact (this was at 4 pm). I fell on the floor and died of shock.

This eventually led him to admit to me that once? He did not poop for TWO WEEKS.

Me: Wow. Wasn't that... uncomfortable? Were you not... concerned??

Him: Well, yeah, I did start to get worried, actually. But MAN! When I finally went? It was like a LOG.

Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRHHHHZHAHHHH. TMI! TMI!!

Him: I mean! That thing was like... having a BABY or something!! A LOG!

Me: NOOOOO. I do not want to hear any more about this pooping!

Him: Seriously, like, I should have been DILATED for that log of poo.

Me: Dude. STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR LOGPOOP! (Log O' Poop? Pooplog?) Am scarred.

In reality, I love to talk about poop, and I do so whenever I have the chance. It's one of my favorite subjects, and Adam will attest to this. Eating apricots? POOP! Tummy hurts? POOP! Gecko? POOP! That's the thing about Geckos. They eat all the spiders, but they poop on EVERYTHING! They pooped on our couch! AND on the projector inside our TV! They somehow manage to poop ON THE WALLS! It stays there, stuck. A poopsmear on the wall. How do they do that? They have magical pooping abilities.

15 weeks
Teh belleh continues its outward expansion.
Pretty soon I will have my own gravitational pull.

Just in case y'all thought I might be making this stuff up, behold exhibit A. Below is my pre-pregnancy bra, 34C. Above? Yeah. That happened like literally overnight. Like I peed on that stick and WHOOPS! 36DD. To my childless friends: you have been warned.

If you see a crazed pregnant woman, underdressed for the cold, running around Seoul with a fistful of Won and an arm load of Coach knockoffs... Tis I.

We are going to Korea. In December. When the average temperature will be in the low 30s. Yes, we are crazy. No it is not by choice... not really. Work is making me go, even though I protested vehemently that I should not be forced to buy additional cold-weather maternity clothes that I will only wear for one week. You try arguing that to military types. They don't care. I have to go. So I'm bringing Adam with me and we are going to try to make it worthwhile!

Of course, I will be in meetings half the time, but we will get a private UN tour of the DMZ out of the deal. That will probably be the highlight of the trip. Having worked on North Korea issues for so much of my career thus far, it will be interesting to go there and see the poor bastards peering suspiciously at us from across the border.

I already bought two pair of pants out of necessity. One was only 14$ and I think I will wear them in Hawaii to work too. The other is a pair of black corduroy's. I will need something to schlep around Seoul in other than the breezy maternity capri's and dresses I have. The rest of it I am just going to wing and make due. I'm planning to wear tights under dresses/skirts to the meetings. I think I can find my wool overcoat in a box somewhere, and it might even still button up 4 weeks from now.

Sigh.

This was one of the reasons I was so upset the other day. There are two other people who work in my shop right now. One of them is leaving on Dec 21, but he already basically "checked out" a couple weeks ago so he could "get ready for his next job" (yes, nearly two months early) and the boss won't confront him and tell him he has to do this one last thing. The other guy is scheduled to go to Singapore the same time as the Korea trip. I thought the thing to do would be to make him go to Korea and I could go to Singapore. That way I wouldn't have to worry about how I'm going to not freeze my ass off in summer-weather maternity clothes, since it's tropical in Singapore. But he pitched a fit because he doesn't want to go to Korea, he wants to go to Singapore... he's already been to Korea. So the boss capitulated on that too. He had the nerve to say to me that "his wife wasn't even showing until after 6 months" (suggesting what? I'm a fatass?) and that I should just "wear my regular clothes tight." He's actually leaving too, in the beginning of January, six months before his original transfer date. So now the two of them have basically already pushed all their responsibilities onto me.

A few days ago, when the idea that I might have to go on this Korea trip first came up, my boss told me he didn't anticipate me having to travel again after this trip. (Y'all know I'm a baby about this travel stuff, but it's not like I can ever go on a business trip where I jump on a plane for a couple of hours and come back in a day or two. Every time you go anywhere from this island it's a minimum of 6 hour plane ride, and that's if you are going to LA and stopping there. It's 12+hours to the east coast. And just for a one day meeting, you are gone for 4 days, because it takes two days to get there and you can't leave the evening of the meeting because the flights are all in the morning. And I'm PREGNANT! I should not have to endure all this undue stress under any circumstances, much less in my already stressful physical condition!)

Anyway, he said this would be my last trip. And so I asked what trips he anticipates me having to go on AFTER the baby is born. Because I'm planning to breastfeed. For at least a year, probably more, if all goes well. And he pretty much said I would not have to travel. I'm not sure I really believe this, given the way things seem to go in this office. And of course, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor when a couple days later it was decided* that I had to go to Korea and he got all excited and started talking about how it will be good for me to meet all these people if I'm going to be working this portfolio from now on. And I'm like, wait, didn't you say I won't have to travel after the baby comes? So how am I going to work this portfolio? He is confused. I will flat out refuse to go if I'm breastfeeding still.

*Here's how it really happened: he told me he was going to talk to the guy who is leaving in December and see if he would go on the trip. I knew the guy would be pissed since he already decided a couple weeks ago he wasn't doing any more work in this job. But the boss said, no he still works here until 21 December and if I tell him to go he will. So on Thursday I told my boss I was going to go ahead and put in a plane reservation just in case I end up having to go, so I can make sure I get aisle seats (because pregnant ladies are at higher risk for blood clots if we don't move around frequently on planes). And he immediately got all excited and suddenly he was sending the other guy an email saying he didn't have to go on the trip! And I'm all WTF, I thought you were going to ask him/tell him? It's stupid, but it was just one more thing that happened in that shitty day that made me feel like I was in a coffee grinder. That and I got pulled over by the police TWICE in one day. Who does that happen to?

So yes. Korea. The mecca of shopping, or so I hear. I'm apprehensive because I anticipate being cold the whole time, going hungry because the food will not be appetizing, and gagging constantly because of all the smells in that country. But I assume I will survive, in which case I will have lots of fascinating stories to tell afterwards.

My Expanding Girth of Pregnant Glory - 14 weeks

14 weeks
Perhaps you can see why I have been relegated to the land of
Pants With Elasticized Waists That Go Up To Your Ears.

Nonplussed

I think the baby was draining the life force out of me today. I have had a headache for days, waves of nausea, exhaustion, irritable... ughhhh. What a shitty day too. I felt beseiged all day - like everything in the universe was working against me. I had to get up early this morning to get to work by 5:30 for a meeting, and from the moment I left the house it seemed like everyone and everything was out to get me. By mid-morning I was feeling so raw all I wanted to do was go home. I went in the bathroom and cried twice! I'd like to blame the pregnancy hormones, but they didn't cause all the shitty things that happened to me today. Then to top it all off, on my way home I drove on base to run an errand and I got pulled over at the gate because the "decals on my car were FADED." (Are you kidding me?) After I talked to the asshole MP, I cried again. It was the shitty icing on the shitcake.

I know I shouldn't give any energy to these things when I'm all irritable and hormonal, but today I just couldn't stop thinking about how it seems like everything I am doing right now is crap I don't want to do. My job... Ok, maybe it's mostly my job. There are so many things that annoy me to the point of getting knots in my stomach. I realize there are annoying things about every job, but with this one, it's like 20% stuff I enjoy and about 80% stuff I'm like why, wHY, WHY??? Either things I think are a waste of time or things I flat out don't want to do (like coming in to work at 5:30 am, for example). I miss my job at State Department!

And maybe I also kind of a little bit hate living here. Maybe hate is too strong a word. Dislike. Sometimes strongly. How can you hate living in Hawaii? It's paradise! When you are not a tourist here, there are things that try your patience. I admit I feel isolated and sometimes lonely here. I don't notice as much when Adam is here, but when he's not I realize, um, I have no friends. You know, like girlfriends. It's not like I work with many young women (hardly any), and it's not like I could really see myself hanging out with the femme-bots on the blonde brigade of spouses in Adam's squadron. Anyway we are done with that place.

One of the biggest reasons I fear quitting my job (besides the money thing) is that I worry I will become a complete recluse. I'm introverted as it is and I worry I will end up hermiting with the baby. On the other hand, maybe I would meet other moms doing activities with the baby.

And.... now I'm done with this sad little uptight post. I have Weeds to watch.