I still feel like I want to squeeze her too tight

Two steps forward, one step back. We had two good days and then yesterday the Little was in another mood. She was fine in the morning, but she wouldn't take a nap and as the day wore on, she became crankier and fussier! By the time Adam came home I was ready to toss her to him and run out the door!

She says, "Whut?"

He took her while I went up to shower and she screamed her head off the whole time. Poor little biddle. I felt so bad for her, I know she was tired. I was carrying her around as I got my dinner, ate and got ready for bed and she fell asleep on my shoulder. But we had to wake her up to get her pj's on and a fresh diaper. By the time we had her swaddled, she was practically hoarse from screaming so much. But after I got her to sleep again, she was good all night.

The nights I really can't complain about. I think I must be getting used to sleeping with her. Plus she doesn't make as many noises as she did in the beginning, except for the occasional adorable "uhhh?" sound or this little gasp/pant thing she does that is also pretty cute. And she is getting bigger so I worry less that my boob will inadvertently smother her. She feels enormous to me! Anyway, we've been getting into sort of a routine where she gets her diaper/pj's/swaddle and then I nurse her and walk her around until she falls asleep around 8 or 9 o'clock. Then she wakes up to nurse around midnight and again around 2. When Adam's alarm goes off at 4 (he's back on the day shift), it stirs her and she usually starts squirming and grunting until she gets a big poo out. I drag my butt out of bed and change her and bring her back to bed where we nurse and usually sleep again until about 7:30.

She's napping on the couch right now, thank goodness. I hope she stays down a couple hours, she is a much happier baby!

When I get a day where she takes a good nap (nap = break for mommy from holding/carrying baby) and is playful and smiley, I feel like this motherhood thing might not actually drive me to insanity after all. HahahahaHAHA AIEEEEEE!