I work with a well-meaning, elderly man who says to me every single day: "Hi Mama! How's the TWINS?" (Ok. Maybe it's not EVERY day. But a lot.)
At first I would humor him with a fake-laugh and say, "Thankfully it's just one!"
(First of all, stop. calling. me. MAMA. and second of all, just stop.)
Now I'm past that. I just raise my eyebrows and say, "IT's JUST. ONE."
I swear to god pretty soon someone is going to get punched in the face.