Saturday, May 09, 2009
I guess it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Man. Man oh man. I seriously did not sleep for one everloving minute last night. Tossed and turned the whole damn time. Even after getting up at 4:30, and staying up till almost midnight. Could. Not. Sleep. I just laid there and worry-worry-worried. About what, you ask? Well I don't even want to say because it's stupid and you will all think it's shallow and irrational and obsessed. Fine. I'll tell you. I was worrying about my weight. What if I can't lose weight. What if I screw up my diet on this stupid trip to Miami. And then of course, why can't I sleep. Why am I not falling asleep?! Morning will come soon and I will not have slept at all. And I have so much to do tomorrow, and then I'm leaving on Sunday, and what do I need to bring, and what am I going to eat, and what if I can't find good food to eat. And I want to quit my job. And on and on... etc, ETC, ETCETERA. So on and so forth, with the whys and wherefores, around and around. Yes, I know, it's stupid and shallow. DON'T JUDGE ME. Sigh. Surprisingly I do not feel too badly right now. I don't really feel like I tossed and turned all night. Still I am motivated to do precisely nothing. Regardless I am going to get up right now and go get some exercise. That will definitely give me a mood boost. And then I am going to go get my haircut, and run an errand or two. And then I will come home and do whatever cleaning I can bear to do, and pack. And try to stop worrying.